On our latest trip to Walmart, Phil and I found ourselves standing in the light bulb section. Phil looked at me and asked, “Do you see a cheap three way?”

I started laughing.  It took Phil a few seconds to figure out why what he said was so funny. He looked at me and said, “You are such a pervert.”

We looked around for a bit, but couldn’t find one of those newer bulbs that can last several years with a three way function. I hate it when I can’t find things, so I went in search of a Walmart employee. In my mind, I could imagine me bringing an employee back, him/her looking for one, finding it, but it not having a price. This would of course lead the employee to asking someone this question.

“Could you please do a price check on a three way for me?”

Phil’s right. I am a pervert, but I know you laughed, too.  So, does that make you a pervert,too?  🙂

Ugh.

I have a job. I do. I just don’t know when my first day on that job will be. I was initially told that I was going to start on February 1st. Then that date got pushed back to a possible 6th start. Yesterday, I was informed that all of the paper work was in order and was being passed(mailed rather) down the line. The person I was speaking to on the phone said as soon as that was all taken care of, then I could start. But she didn’t give me a date. All she said was that she would give me a call and let me know.

Ugh

Oh, the title of the post is referring to what used to be a high school on USC’s campus. At least that was what I was told once. The school was of course called University High School. It closed down a long, long time ago.

The reason why I can’t bite beef jerky anymore.

People always say that once you’ve been offered a job, and you’ve accepted it, a half a dozen more will be laid at your feet.  Since being offered the job at USC(University of South Carolina) on Friday, I have been offered two different DSS(Department of Social Services) positions.

One was a Human Services Specialist in the food stamps department and the other was also a Human Services Specialist working in the Adult Protective Services department.  The one in the food stamps department only offered $20,248 a year.  I probably only would have taken that one if there were no other offers at the time.  The one in the ADS department was offering $28,000, a fairly nice sum of cash, but I don’t know how much I would have enjoyed old people with dementia trying to fight me.  I am all about helping people, but I don’t know how long I would have been able to do that.

USC hasn’t gotten my background check back in yet.  That should be coming in in the next fews days.  Once they get it, they will give me a definite start date.  I’ll be curious to hear whether or not I got the Blue Cross Blue Shields job.  I don’t really want it, I just want to find out what the salary is for the position.  They didn’t tell me in the interview and it wasn’t listed on their site either.

Well, I better get back to my cross stitching. I want to have this done before I start working. I’ll try thinking of another interesting China story.

I’M SO EXCITED, AND I JUST CAN’T HIDE IT!!!

I’M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL, AND I THINK I LIKE IT!!

Are you sitting down? Well, if you aren’t, plop your butt on a chair or a couch or something that has a surface. Float if you can. I don’t care.

I’ve been wanting to say this for a very, very, very long time, and today, I finally can.

I’VE GOT A JOB!!!

Go ahead, read the last sentence again, just in case you missed the key words. That’s right, I’ve got a job, and the best part is that it is the one job I really wanted. I can now shout from the roof tops that I am now an employee of the University of South Carolina as a Human Resources Specialist. That is of course, God willing, that my SLED background check comes back clean. There is no reason that is shouldn’t, but my friend Shaun said that a long time ago he got arrested and told the cops he was me. Since I know that was him just being funny, I know that come February 1st or 4th, I won’t be sleeping in like I’ve become accustomed to. Instead, I will be in pretty business attire, trying my hand in the employment office.

I’m so excited, I really am. When I got the call,I knew it was the University calling because my caller ID gave me the prefix of 777. I closed my eyes and said, “Please, God, let this be good news.”

The woman, who is soon to be my supervisor, I think, didn’t come right out and say that I had the job, so I thought it was going to be bad news. I couldn’t read her voice at all. And then those magical words filled my ears. “We would like to offer you the position.” I probably sounded way too excited. “Are you serious?!” I said. She informed me that she was, and I started screaming internally and jumping silently up and down on my couch.

When I closed my phone, I literally screamed, and then I cried, and then I screamed some more. And then I reopened my phone and started calling every human being I knew.

I’ll close this in saying thank you to all of those who wished me well. I really appreciate it. Now, I can start writing my own version of “The Office”. 🙂

One of these days, this update has to end.

Early this morning, I had an interview with another DSS location, this time for the position of an Adult Protection Services worker. The interview went fairly well and the pay isn’t bad. I could definitely live on $28,000 a year. I had to sign yet another SLED background check form. By the time I get a job, SLED is going to know me on a first name basis. They also wanted to get fingerprints, but the woman that does that sort of thing wasn’t there.  I’ll have to go back to have that done.  Before they can even offer me a job, they have to get the results back on the background and my fingerprints.

Well, I guess I passed my writing test because tomorrow, I have an interview with Blue Cross Blue Shields for the position of Instructional Writer I.  I was a little nervous when I got the call because the woman on the phone was a bit hesitant when she began talking to me.  I thought she was trying to figure out the best way to tell me that I failed and that I could retake the test in six months if I wished, but she was only double checking whom I would be interviewing with and where.  At this point, I have no idea what the salary for the position is or when they expect to fill it.  I’m just psyched that I have the opportunity to interview for the position.  I mean, I don’t know many other jobs that I qualify for out there that are directly related to my degree in English.  I just hope they don’t expect me to have a lot of professional writing experience.  I can write all day on just about anything, but my writing has never been my bread and butter.  I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.  I’ll be interested in what they have to say.

Hopefully, I’ll hear from USC this week and the news will be good.  I’ve got every finger, toe, and hair crossed.   If there is a psychic reading this post, can you please leave a comment telling me how all this is going to work out?  Thanks!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17yBGdWHJRY[/youtube]
Well, as promised, I cooked my fudge cookies this past weekend and had Phil film me. This is my first attempt at a “cooking show”, so bare with me and don’t laugh too hard. All the thanks goes to Phil. He filmed and edited the entire thing. I hope you enjoy watching it. Oh, and even though the cookies look like little piles of poo, they taste like anything but. Heh. Now get in your kitchen and try making it for yourself! I will try to think of something else to cook for you guys soon.

As I see it, I am the closest to landing a job since I first started looking in September.  I had my second interview with University of South Carolina today, and I think it went about as well as it could have. It was a rather interesting interview.  I met the woman I had my initial interview with and she drove me to the office where I was to meet the person who would be conducting my second interview.   It was a first for me, having someone drive me to another location.    It wasn’t very far.  We just had to drive a few blocks down the street.  Basically, she wanted this second person to talk to me and the other remaining candidate before she made her final decision.  We talked for about 50 or so minutes about my strengths, weaknesses, why I wanted the job, a little about my past jobs, a little about my China experience and a few other odds and ends.  He had me sign a few documents.  You know, the one that says if you get hired and we find out you lied, we’ll fire you, and we are going to do a background check on you, if you are hiding anything, we’ll found out about it!  Heh, I’ve got nothing to hide. I have a blog for crying out loud.  🙂

Yesterday, I went and had my interview at the Agape English Language Institute.  The guy is not even sure whether or not he will need someone, but if he does, he’ll find out in the beginning of March.  It would only be for 21 hours a week and he may be able to pay up to $15 an hour.  If you do the math, that would be $16,380 a year before taxes.  I just don’t know if this option is going to work out or not.  Plus, I don’t think there are any benefits.  If it was a full time position, it would be a completely different story.  Also, he asked me a question that I have never, ever been asked in an interview.  He asked me what my religion was.  I wanted to say, hey, that’s illegal, you can’t ask me that.  I really didn’t care though.  It didn’t offend me or anything.  I just thought it was a very awkward question.   I told him that I was raised Christian, and then he wanted to know what denomination I was.  I said that I was a Baptist and thought his religious questions were over, but no, he wanted to know if I had a church home in the area.  I was like, gees, do you want to know when I was baptized, too?  He was asking all of these questions because he wants all the students to be surrounded by people with good values and morals.  That’s understandable, but that question is still illegal!  Grr.

I haven’t heard back from any of the DSS locations or Blue Cross Blue Shields.  I guess I’ll hear from them one way or another soon.  I feel really good about the USC position though.  I haven’t felt this positive about a job yet, so maybe it’s a sign or something.  I’ll supposedly find out next week who they chose – me or the other girl.  I’m gonna attach my phone to my hip and jump each and every time that it rings.  If I get the job, I’ll start either February 1st or 15th.  Things are looking up, though, I guess.  Now, if only things will fall into place.

Well, sushi is calling, I better get going.  Thank you all for your words of encouragement and good wishes.  I appreciate it.  One of these days I’ll get a job, and I’ll be able to change the title of these posts to Update: Employed.  Heh.  That would be nice.

Your eyes have not deceived you. You read the title of this post right. This Maniac is indeed going to start, or at least attempt to start her own cooking show. No, my unemployment has not made me go mad. I was mad way before I became jobless. : ) So, why you ask? Well, it’s simple. I’ve got this fancy new camera that I haven’t used at all lately, and a bunch of yummy recipes that I think people would like to munch on. Plus, Phil volunteered to be my camera man. Well, actually, I begged, and he finally agreed. So, if you throw all of those wonderful reasons together, you’ll get the same answer I did. Why not? That’s more of a question than an answer, but you understand.

I hope to film my very first episode this weekend after I help Phil move into his new apartment, but I am not going to promise anything. I think I will start with what I know best – cookies and other types of sweets. I’m a mean, green, baking machine, baby! If things go well, I may venture into dinners and what not. I guess only time will tell. So, stay tuned. Soon, I will be showing you all how to make one of my favorite quick treats – fudge cookies. My mouth is salivating just thinking about them. They are so good that they are impossible to keep in my house. My brother keeps eating them all.

Ok, lets see. What has happened since my last update?

Well, for one, I got a call from Blue Cross Blue Shields, and they wanted me to come in for a professional writing test. I applied for the position of Instructional Writer I some time ago, and I guess they just wanted to make sure I knew my stuff before they decided to even considered me for the position. Fair enough, I guess. The test wasn’t too bad. I had to write one business letter and a memo in a forty minute time frame. Since I have never really written a business letter or a memo in my entire life, I doubt I got points for structure. In the grammar and spelling department, I probably did pretty well. I may not be a perfect English major, but there are a few things I learned in college that refuse to leave me. If you have anything drilled into your brain for four years, it is hard to forget it.

Supposedly, I will hear from them in a week or so. That is when they will tell me whether or not I passed, passed with training, or out right failed. If I pass, I guess they’ll ask me in for an interview and then we will go from there. I think it would be funny if I ended up working for the same company as Phil. If they call me up and tell me I failed, I am going to cry myself into an eternal slumber. I mean, if I can’t pass a simple writing test . . . well, I’d rather not go there. Just keep your fingers crossed for me.

The day after my writing test, I had an interview with the Lexington DSS office. This one is much closer than the Eastover office – 28 miles closer – but the salary is much lower – $8,574 lower. I knew that before going, but I figured considering my current position, I should at least go and talk with them in order to keep my options open. It’s an entry level position, so at least there would be a ladder to climb. While I was there, I did take note of the bars at the reception desk and how every single one of the doors in the building were locked. All of the staff members have a key on this pull cord around their neck. One of the women I was sitting beside said, “I think someone went off.” I just nodded my head. Something must have happened. They should make a decision by the end of this week.

Last night, I got an email from a school called Agape English Language Institute. They are located right here in Columbia, and they teach English to foreign nationals. They are a pretty small school, but they finally may need a new teacher beginning in March. It sounds interesting. I’ve yet to actually sit down and talk to the guy who may or may not hire me, but at least now there is a possibility that I could end up teaching English again.

And lastly, I got a call just a few hours ago from the University of South Carolina. The woman wanted to let me know that I was in the top two for the position I had interviewed for before Thanksgiving. This is the Human Resources job if you are trying to keep up. She said she still had to contact my references and that another guy wanted to speak to me before she made her final decision. She said that she hopes to have the position filled by February first. Maybe she will make a decision sooner.

And that is pretty much it for now. All I got to say is that I never want to have to look for a job again. It is one big pain in the ass.

I went to the store yesterday to pick up an ingredient for my Mexican Fiesta dish that I had forgotten to get ealier. While I was going, my brother asked me to pick him up some nuts. He gave me five bucks in quarters, and off I went.

I found my ingredient rather quickly, but as I walked the aisles, I couldn’t find the section of nuts. I was about to ask someone to help me find them, but then I realized that there was no good way to say it.

Think about it. These are the questions I thought about asking one of the young men on duty, but thought it sounded perverted.
1. Excuse me, on which aisle can I find your nuts?

2. Could you please point me to your nuts?

3. Where do you keep your nuts?

4. Could you help me find your nuts?

See what I mean, there aren’t any good ways unless you say the specific nut you are looking for, like peanuts.

It would have been funny to see one of the young men’s face had I been brave enough to ask.