Take a look at that date.  I somehow seriously doubt this store is 1254 years old, but if it is, it’s probably the oldest store in the known universe and Jesus probably bought tea from them – well, not really, but you know what I mean.

I found this sticker on the bumper of a car.  As long as you are happy, I guess it is okay that you are psycho.

I bought this not to watch it, but so I could take a picture of it.  I found it strangely amusing.  It cost a whopping 4 yuan.

I love spring. I love it because the weather gets warmer, all the flowers start to bloom, I get to throw my coat in the closet, and I am actually motivated to go outside to get my fifteen minutes of vitamin D. But those aren’t the only reasons why I love spring. I love it because all of those reasons I just mentioned mark the start of the most awesome season of all – the baseball season.

To put how awesome it is to me into perspective, maybe I should say it this way: Opening Day is my Christmas.

Well, not all Christmases are created equal. Sometimes you get the win you’ve been dreaming of, maybe, if your lucky, even a few spectacular plays, a homer that blasts out of that park, and a nail-biting, thriller of a finish. And then there is the Christmas that makes you ask, “Is Santa on strike?”

The first four games of the 2012 baseball season were very much the latter. The Atlanta Braves, I guess, thought that their complete craptacular collapse last season wasn’t so complete after all because they posted four more rather disappointing loses before finally notching a win. Now, I wasn’t too let down because I am well aware there are 162 games and that anything can happen between April and October, but as we learned last season, one win can make all the difference and each loss can potentially be the nail in the season’s coffin. Thankfully, the Braves have made some what of a comeback and are now a .500 team and only 2.5 games back.

During their win drought, I aired my displeasure to the retired group of students I teach over in Xujiahui. I wrote up the following on the board at the beginning of my class, so they could read and think about it, and prepare themselves to discuss it.

“The Atlanta Braves are off to a miserable start. They are 1-4. Zi Wei(that’s my Chinese name) is very sad because of this.”

Last semester, I talked to them about baseball and the Atlanta Braves, so I expected them to understand, but I suppose my expectations were a few rungs too high.

As the students came in, they sat down and read the message on the board. They read it again. They spoke to each other in Chinese and all of their faces were distorted in confusion. I couldn’t understand what the problem was.

When the clock struck 9:15, I read the sentence out loud. I asked them if they knew who the Atlanta Braves were. They all shook their heads and said no. I told them they did know because we had talked about it before. I asked if they could remember my favorite sport. They shook their heads again and said no. I wrote baseball up on the board one letter at a time until they knew what I was writing. I think I got to the E before someone recognized it.

“Oh, baseball,” one of the students said.

Several of the students on the front row started laughing. I asked what was so funny.

One of the students spoke for them all. “We thought that you were sad because of something we did. We love you. We don’t want to make you sad.”

This of course made me laugh right along with them.

“No, no, I said. I’m not sad because something you did. I am sad because the Atlanta Braves have only won one of five games.”

“We understand now.”

And then we all laughed together.

This moment sorta made me forget how sad I was that the Braves were stinking up the place.

Here’s to hoping that I won’t need this type of special moment to help me forget any more parts of the season. Go Braves!!

I can now cross off seeing a mime on the Shanghai subway of my to-do list.

Hot Blood?  Hot Fruit?  Translating Fail?

I call it “Sculpted Poo with Corn”.

Listening to the workers yell out, “Welcome to O MY G!” as I walk past always makes me giggle.

This gave me a good laugh.

Nothing too exciting happening in Shanghai, so I went diving into my picture collection and found some amusing ones to share with you.  All of these were taken in Linyi, China.

Usually, when you need to escape a building, there are multiple exits – at least two sets of stairs.  This was not the case of the building that we lived  in Linyi.  There were two sets of stairs, but only one would go all the way to the bottom floor.  On the third floor, where we lived, the middle stairs continued down to the restaurant below us only in the case of an emergency.  Unlike some of the emergency doors you would see in America, this one could not be opened by simply pushing it, thus causing an alarm to sound.  In the event of an emergency, we would have had to find the person who had the key to open the door, had a handy pair of bolt cutters, been willing to chuck something very heavy at the door or pray that our parachutes were ready for action because the window would have been our only remaining option.  Thankfully, there were no emergencies in the ten months we lived there.

Hrm.  How does one fight against time, and publicly nonetheless?  And why do you have to strive for efficiency(not spelled correctly on the sign) privately?  Isn’t it easier to make things better when you work with like-minded people?  Hrm.  I don’t think I get this sign.  I found it in the F building of Linyi University, which is the Foreign Language Building.

Well, I suppose it makes sense right?  An elevator is very much like a floating stair.  Out of curiosity, I Googled the term airstair, and found out that the term is real, but it isn’t quite an elevator.  Wikipedia tells me that an airstair is “a passenger staircase that is built in to an airliner — often, though not always, on the inside of a clamshell-style door. The stairs can be raised or lowered while the aircraft is on the ground, allowing passengers and ground personnel to board or depart the aircraft without the need for a mobile staircase or a jetway.”  You learn something everyday.