Explosive dog?  I guess this is a bomb sniffing dog.  Pretty funny translation.

Meili: A Happy Dog

I love to write/type and talk about how interesting/crazy my life is or can be, but for the longest time, I have had zero desire to say anything about China.  I have had a lot of great experiences, seen a lot of cool stuff, eaten very strange foods and taken a lot of pretty pictures, but I just can’t seem to get myself in front of the computer long enough to write something for the amusement of the world.

Is the world even still there?

I am hoping I can get over this stupid blog flu soon, as there are a lot of new and exciting things about to happen in my life.  For one, Phil and I are moving to Shanghai in January, and to top things off, we are making a quick stop back home to get hitched.  I’ll get in to all that later . . . but for now what do you guys think about using the following picture as the engagement photo in the newspaper? 🙂  I think it is perfect! It would make people reading The State Newspaper say, “What?!”

FYI, that is the stupid horse that decided it would be cool to roll me.  It wasn’t.  Thankfully, he didn’t hurt me.

I’ll be sure to sleep a lot and drink a lot of fluids so that I can get over this blog flu soon.  World, if you are there, don’t delete me from you bookmarks just yet. I’ll be back and be better than ever before too long.

Once upon time, Phil woke up early.  If you don’t know Phil quite like I do, know this: ‘early’ and ‘Phil’ do not usually find themselves in the same sentence.  Phil’s a vampire, at least, that is what I have concluded in the 8 years that I have known him.  He sleeps all day and starts to stir as the sun goes down.  How he has ever held a 9 to 5 job is a miracle in and of itself.  I am forever grateful that he doesn’t glitter in day light.  I can only imagine how embarrassing that would be.

So, you can imagine how startled I was to be woken up and then told not that he was bringing me breakfast in bed, but that I was to get up and get dressed because we were taking a road trip to Atlanta.  This confused me even more because it was a cold February morning, and the only thing I ever really go to Atlanta for is to watch a Braves game.  Turner Field is a ghost town in February.  All the baseball players are either taking it easy or playing winter ball somewhere warm.  If he had told me to guess what we were going to buy, I would have never guessed it in a million years.  Phil woke up with a wild craving for Chinese lamb.  Thankfully, Atlanta has its own little China town and a massive Asian grocery store, H-Mart, where you can get your random Chinese cravings.

After a quick stop at Burger King for some delicious Cini Minnies – I would kill for one right about now – we were on our way. Instead of taking the route I’ve almost always taken, Phil decided to drive up through Clemson.  It’s take a little bit longer but it’s a prettier drive. Not long after we crossed the border into Georgia, we started seeing signs for the Pendergrass Flea Market. There were just a few at first and then a few more and then then entire side of the interstate was littered with signs urging us to stop by and browse. Since we were in no big hurry, we decided to oblige the signs. I guess their advertising scheme worked.

Once there, we weren’t overly impressed. I mean, it was just a flea market after all, albeit a large one. We walked around for a little, but didn’t see anything that caught our fancy.  We were just about to leave and carry on with our Chinese lamb mission when I asked Phil if we could try and find the pet section – you know, just to look. I expected to see kittens, puppies, and birds – the flea market norm, and I did, but the first thing my eyes saw was a cute little baby Sugar Glider.

I have always liked Sugar Gliders, and ever since I was in high school I have wanted one as a pet, but I just want to state for the record that I was not the one who suggested we buy the adorable little fuzzy. No, it was not I, the lover of all things small, cute, and furry who decided it was a good idea to add a four legged creature to our family. It was Phil who looked at me and said, “Gabe, do you want it?”

Believe me, I wanted to say yes right then and there, but I was trying to be responsible. I’ve had pets before, and even though they’re cute and fun to have around, pets are a huge responsibility. I didn’t want the two of us buying on impulse. Impulse buying is bad. Impulse buying leads to regret and regret turns into neglect.

We debated it for a while. We weighed the pros and cons. We even took a walk around the flea market one more time before we made our decision. And, well, you surely know what happened or else you wouldn’t be reading this now.

Luckily, the flea market had an ATM. Impulse buyers need ATMs . . . and well, people who don’t normally carry big bills around on them for buying exotic animals.

On the way home, we tossed names back and forth trying to figure out which one fit our new little guy the best and finally decided upon the name Quantum. It was Phil’s idea. Phil liked it because it sounded cool and science-like. I liked it because it reminded me of the show Quantum Leap.  Plus, I thought it would be really cool to train him to jump on command by saying, “Quantum, leap!”  Yeah, I’m cheesy.

Oh, and we never made it to H-Mart.  Instead of Chinese lamb, we got a Sugar Glider.

At first we were afraid we had made a mistake in buying him.   Our six inch bundle of joy weighing in at 1 ounce was a bit terrifying.  His crabbing scared the crap out of me, but later it just made me laugh.  He was a quick little devil, too.  I was constantly afraid he was going to slip under something and get lost or run out the front door.  Phil and I eventually Sugar Glider proofed the house so that he was less likely to disappear.  And like most baby animals snatched away from their mom and dad, he wanted nothing to do with us for the longest time.  For awhile, I thought he was never going to bond with us.   As time passed, he learned to trust us, and eventually, he came to love us.  In the end, we were a part of his colony.  He never wanted to leave our side . . . unless of course he spied a piece of corn somewhere.  Quantum loved his corn and he loved us even more because we fed it to him.

Cute baby Quantum.

Quantum thinking about eating a grape.

“Get that camera out of my face, woman!”

I cannot express in words how much Quantum hated our tent bonding sessions.

After a lot of research, we learned that Quantum needed a pal.  A lonely Sugar Glider is a sad Sugar Glider.  We looked and looked, but could not find a female that was the appropriate age, price, and within a reasonable distance.   Yeah, you guessed it.  I wanted Sugar Glider babies.  🙂

By chance one day, I came across a Craig’s List ad that met all of our requirements.  That afternoon we had Quantum a girlfriend.  Quantum, it turned out, was a complete saint and we never ever should have complained about his odd behavior.  Countess, as she came to be called, was completely insane and hated the fact that we even breathed.  If she could have held a gun, she would have held us at gun point and demanded that we release her back into the Australian forest that she came from because that is exactly what she was – a wild animal.   Two days after we got her, Phil was threatening to sell her.  I begged for him to give her a chance.  After months of being ravaged by her tiny teeth of death and running around for hours trying to catch her to put her back in her cage, she finally came around and decided that she would tolerate us.  After the birth of her two beautiful baby boys, she calmed down a lot.  She even thought I was decent enough to babysit while her and Quantum ran around causing havoc in the living room.  When she got comfortable enough to jump on me and began allowing me to pick her up without making me look like I had been in a fight with a thorny rose bush, I knew that she finally trusted me and that maybe, just maybe she even loved me.

One night, like many nights, Countess vanished.  It was only when I heard a slight scratching sound that I was able to find her.  She loved hiding. I think she must have been a pro at Hide N’ Go Seek in a past life.

Here is Countess with one of her baby boys.

Here she is hiding in a bag full of plastic Cowboys and Indians.  It took Leigh and I an hour to find her.  Silly girl.

Like I said, Quantum and Countess had two beautiful baby boys.  After watching them grow up, I am a firm believer that genes play a large roll in who you become.  One of the boys acted and looked a lot like Quantum and the other had the same temperament as Countess.  We were reluctant to give them names at first, as we didn’t want to get to attached to them before my good friend, Jody, adopted them, but it was a bit annoying calling them Baby 1 and Baby two all the time.  So, we gave them temporary names.  The one that was lazy and sweet like Quantum was called Corn Husk, since he too loved corn like you wouldn’t believe.  And the one that complained a lot and didn’t like being handled, we called him Nick.  His right ear had a tiny piece missing.  I am not sure if he was born that way or if parents or his brother slapped him around for being a jerk.   It was probably the latter. Jody ended up renaming them Codo and Podo after the ferrets in The Beastmaster.

Codo and Podo loving on each other.

Quantum never enjoyed spending too much time with his boys.  I guess he thought that was Countess’ job.  He had no idea what to do with them when they crawled on his back.

“Piggy back, bro?”  “Nah, man, get off!”

I think baby Sugar Gliders look like baby opossums, just cuter.

One day, Phil and I decided it would be a good idea to go back to China.  Okay, it was my idea more than anything, but Phil agreed.  The worst thing about deciding to go was that we couldn’t take our babies with us.  Thankfully, we had a good friend, Leigh, who said she would watch them for us until we decided to come to our senses and come home.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans.  On April 1, 2010, Countess passed away.  She developed a uterus infection and the vets were unable to save her.  On July 25th, 2010, Quantum followed her to Sugar Glider heaven.  His death was an accident, but tragic nonetheless.

I can only imagine  Quantum’s glee when he was shown the never ending pile of corn kernels  reaching  like a spire into the sky.  He’s probably so fat now that he can’t even move.  But I’m sure he is happy that way.  Fat and happy.

And Countess . . . well, I’m sure the Sugar Glider God is having a hell of a time finding her in His great big house.  I hope he knows to look in the Cowboy and Indian bag made in China.

A few more pictures . . .

Quantum and his peanut.

Quantum the bat – eating upside down.

Quantum’s hideout.

Quantum and Countess taking a rest in a t-shirt.

Quantum and his hammock.

Quantum eating a piece of fruit in my hoody.

The last picture I ever took of the two of them.  It was the last night I saw them before I left for China.

We miss them so much.  We’ll never forget them and the ways they made us laugh.

There is no use in apologizing, so I’m not even going to try.  Let’s face it.  I suck at blogging.

I will however play the blame game.  The internet here just blows.  Some days it works and other days, well, it doesn’t.  What is a blogger to do?

Well, tomorrow is our last day and then it is VACATION TIME!!  A whole two months worth.  Why can’t we have awesome vacations like that in the States?  Oh, wait, we do, but you have to be teacher.  Hrm.  I suppose possibly being knifed or shot could almost be worth two months of vacation, but not quite.  🙂

Our vacation is going to go something like this:

Linyi to Shanghai – Stay in Shanghai for 3 days, possibly see the Expo, get some good food.

Shanghai to Hangzhou – Spend a few days in Hangzhou, reminisce, eat some Dairy Queen.  Yum.

Hangzhou to Fuyang – Hang out with our good friend Jin for a few days and reminisce some more.  I am sure Fuyang has changed a lot since we left.

Fuyang back to Hangzhou – Catch a train or bus to Nanjing and see what Bo and Nashville have been talking about.

Nanjing to Guilin – We have to take a plane.  There is no way I am spending 24 hours on a train, even if it is a few hundred yuan cheaper.  Stay a night or hop on the first bus to Yangshuo.

Guilin to Yangshuo – Relax for a week and take in the sights.  Yanghshuo is mostly definitely the most beautiful place I have ever seen in China. Phil did say he would foot the bill if we stayed longer . . . so who knows how long we will stay.

Yangshuo back to Guilin – Catch a train, bus or plane to Kunming. I hear it is a pretty nice place.  It will be the first time Phil and I have been there.

Kunming to Dali – Once again, I have heard nice things and we have never been there before. It is always nice to adventure and see new places.

If at this point we aren’t completely broke, we may try to make our way to Qingdao, spend a few days there, experience Beer Street and then come back home to ever so wonderful Linyi.  If everything costs what we think it is going to cost, we are going to have to eat rice and noodles and nothing else for an entire month before we get paid again.  🙂

Okay, moving on . . . Last weekend Phil decided it was time to have a new Chinese experience.  So, we went to the massage parlor down the street and while I got a standard oil massage, he got ba guan.  Ba guan is when the chinese take glass cups, light them on fire, and then stick them to your back – 16 of them to be exact.  They suck up your skin and break every blood vessel known to man.  After 5 or 10 minutes, they take them off.  It looks something like this . . .

Since I was getting a massage, I couldn’t take a picture of the glass cups on Phil’s back, but I took a picture of a friend who did it a week or so ago.  It was her first and last time.  I have no idea how she got the courage to do it.  There is no way in a happy hell that I would ever submit to it.

And this is what it looked like after Phil had his little procedure.  It looks likes someone either sucker punched him over and over again or took a purple marker and went to town.

A close up of the damage . . .

And another . . .

I don’t think that Phil will be getting it done again any time soon.  And not because it hurt, at least he said it didn’t, but because he didn’t really feel he benefited from it.  It is supposed to suck out the toxins from your body.  They tell you not to take a shower for 24 hours afterward, but I am not totally sure of the reason.

Oh, and although this has nothing to do with vacation or self-induced pain, I thought I would post it any way.

There is an Australian in our building who has decided to turn the roof into his very own garden/farm.  He recently just added 4 baby chicks that he will either use for eggs or if they suck at that, he’s gonna eat them.  I really hope they are great egg layers.

Here they are . . .

When he tends to the garden, he lets them out of their cage so they can run around.  They run so fast.  He says they are easy to catch and put back, but I don’t know if I believe him.

And the garden . . .

If I have internet connection during our travels, I will try my best to keep whoever it that reads this blog of mine up-to-date.  I can hardly wait.  This vacation is going to be a blast!

Thanks to my Dad, I can now upload my videos to YouTube and show them to you here.  The following video is of me feeding the pigeons located at the People’s Square.  You pay the attendant 2 yuan and he/she gives you a small plastic bag with some seed. When watching the video, you can hear the attendant yelling at a little boy who comes up to me and grabs one of the birds by its’ tail.  She is saying something like, “Just look! Just look!”   Of course, the boy doesn’t listen and grabs anyway.  I felt really bad for the bird.

Phil and I went to Qufu this weekend, and I have some picture and videos that I will be posting soon. I just have to allot some time to do it.  Well, anyway, enjoy the video!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpkuVLktKSI[/youtube]

Here is another cute video of our precious Sugar Glider, Quantum.  I am going to miss his little furry butt so much.  If only I could take him and his evil girlfriend with me.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgPXNAXrAEU[/youtube]

Hrm . . . how did these ever slip by me?  Very good question.  Well, I suppose late is better than never, or so they say, right?

This isn’t the best picture of a dragonfly that I have taken, but I really did love his color.  I chased him around for  a good ten minutes before he decided to sit long enough for me to get this picture.  I tried getting closer, but he kept flittering away like I was scary or something.  The nerve of some dragonflies!

If it is purple, I might take a picture. If it is purple and happens to be a flower, I must take a picture.  This little flower reminds me of a picture I took at the Wanshi Botanical Garden in Xiamen, China, way back when, but it isn’t quite as frightening. Still pretty, though.

My camera may be awesome, but it wasn’t quite as awesome as I needed it to be in order to capture this little guy in complete focus.  There were a bunch of lizards out and about that day, but he seemed especially interested in the Canon I had hanging around my neck.  Had I not hear him scurrying underneath the leaves, I seriously doubt I would have ever seen him.  He almost blends in perfectly with tree.

Once upon a time, I used to take pictures of benches, and I had this crazy idea that I was going to make a coffee table book entitled, Bitch’n Benches and Some Pretty Flowers.  Like many of my ideas, he never took off, and I never made my coffee table book.  I still take pictures of benches, though, just in case.

Even though spiders freak me out, I love taking pictures of them.  I love looking at and admiring them, but the instance they touch me – all bets are off!  I have an awful habit of getting too close when I try to use my macro lens. On more than one occasion my lens has touched the spider or the web, and well, I might as well have petted them when that happens because I always instantly transform into Little Miss Muffet and start screaming as I aim for the hills.  Spiders are beautiful, but I hate each of the eight freaky legs!

Here is a video of Quantum chasing after what I can only assume he thinks is a bird.  Make sure to turn up your volume, so that you can hear the adorable sounds he makes.

In other Sugar Glider news, Countess is expecting some babies!  I think she is having twins.  I tried to get a picture of them the other night, but Countess wanted nothing of it!  Phil and I have no idea what we are going to do with them or if we are going to neuter Quantum.  As cute as babies are, I don’t think we can handle a farm of Sugar Gliders in Phil’s 1200 sq foot apartment.  🙂

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UrbU94rzFU[/youtube]

Quantum is a very inquisitive, destructive beast.  You have to watch him very carefully when he’s out if his cage.  If it can be chewed, he chews it.  He has more or less destroyed each and every one of our books on our bookshelf, especially if it has anything to do with China. You should see what he has done to my purple folder that contains a lot miscellaneous paperwork from when we were teachers in China.  It doesn’t even look like a folder anymore.  I don’t know why he likes to chew so much.  I don’t think Countess chews like he does.  Maybe it is a guy thing or something.

He also likes to grab things and take off with them, too.  I constantly find things that he has hidden in the couch.  One day, I found a USB device that he had taken.  Sometimes he really reminds me of a monkey, especially when he throws his food around.  He is such a silly guy.

The following video is of craptastic quality, but what can you expect of any camera in a dim room?  Because Quantum and Countess are nocturnal, we have to keep the lights turned down low.  We don’t want to hurt their eyes.  Also, a portion of the video is upside down.  I didn’t know it was filming like that when I first picked up the iPhone.  And lastly, sorry for the expletive that Phil uses.  You would probably yell too if a Sugar Glider clamped down on your finger.  They may have little teeth, but it hurts like the dickens!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmqmwKX3-CA[/youtube]