Today I did something that I’ve never done before.

After discovering the six Hershey candy bars that my brother had just purchased from Kroger were missing, I hoped in my car and drove back to the store. I wanted to see if I could find the bag that we had somehow left in the buggy. I went back to where I had left the cart, but it had already been moved. I knew that I had to go inside to see if any kind soul had returned them, but I was hesitant. Why? Well, I was wearing my pajamas.

I stared at the store for a minute and then said, “What the hell, I’ll just pretend I’m back in China and that wearing my pajamas around town is totally normal. It will only take a second, right?”

Wrong.

I ended up spending a good 10 to 15 minutes standing in front of the store in my Joe Boxers, Freddy VS Jason t-shirt, and an old pair of sandals. Hey, at least I wasn’t wearing my gigantic Cookie Monster slippers.

People looked at me strangley as they checked out. I expected it, but you would have thought I was dressed like a hooker instead based on their wide eyed expressions. I’m just glad I don’t embarrass that easy.

Finally, the manager showed up and asked what I needed. I explained how my candy bars had flown the coupe and how sad I was. She was very nice and let me get six more even though it was all probably my fault. I really don’t remember leaving anything in the buggy, though. I doubt Wal-Mart would have done the same. Wal-Mart has horrible customer service.

With my candy bars in hand, I walked back out through the parking lot, and drove back home.

This past Friday, 4 postcards showed up in my mailbox. And then on Saturday, another came. All I have to say, is that postcards from around the world beat a bill any day of the week. 🙂

Card # 1

Tallinn is the capital of Estonia. Looks pretty. I really like the old buildings. So medieval. I’d bet money that the sky in this particular photo isn’t real, though. Take a closer look. What do you think? I can’t figure out why someone would photoshop a fake sky into a postcard.

I found it funny that she didn’t spell out China all the way. Interesting stamp, too. I imagine I’ll be getting many history lessons in the near future. I’ll have to look up his name to see what he did in order to be deserving of a stamp.

Card # 2

Mikkeli, Finland.

Anna-Lisa wrote with a very interesting pen.

Some letters are dark blue while others are light blue.

Is that a moth or a little butterfly?

Card # 3

Sibel lives in Manisa, Turkey, but this postcard is representing Uchisar, Nevsehir – Turkey. Sibel was the first person to receive a postcard from me through Postcrossing. She wanted to send me a postcard in return, so I gave her my address. Turkey seems like a really cool place to visit. I’ll have to put it on my places to go before I die.

I like it when postcards have a lot of writing on them. I’ve always wanted to fly in a hot air balloon. Had Phil and I had the money to do it in Yangshuo, China, we so would have.

Card # 4

I was expecting one postcard, not two from Sibel. I was pleasantly surprised.

All of these postcards are making me antsy. I’ll need to travel somewhere soon.

Card # 5

This fighter jet came all the way from Dayton, Ohio, from Emily. It’s actually her photo, not something she bought. This is something I am going to start doing soon – taking and sending my own postcards. I’ve got over 5,000 to choose from just from spending a year in China.

This is the first card I have received from America. I doubt it will be the last. Something like 18% of Postcrossing users are from America.

Several weeks ago, Phil was cleaning up what used to be his room at his parent’s house, when he came across a stack of journals he had written in elementary school. I think they were from the 4th grade, but I can’t remember off hand, and Phil isn’t sitting here to tell me. All of them were addressed to his teacher, who he called Mama T. I asked him why he called her that instead of Mrs. So-and So, and he said that it was what she told everyone to call her. There must have been 30 or more journals that he’d written, but I’ve only scanned the one below for your reading pleasure. Maybe if you leave lots of awesome comments, I’ll be able to convince Phil to let me scan the rest.

If you read all of the journals back to back, they tell the story of Phil and an eraser called Evil E. They do all sorts of things together. They travel through space and time, all the while causing lots and lots of trouble. Most of the entries have little drawings of Evil E. doing something bad, whether it is holding a gun to someones head or beating someone up. I thought they were pretty funny.

If you want a glimpse into Phil’s young mind, just take a look below, but be very, very afraid. Heh.

Phil would have been called in by the authorities, had he drawn this in school today.

Ah, the world has gone mad – mad I say!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4[/youtube]

Mad World by Gary Jules

I don’t know whether Phil was trying to say Damn School or Dumb School.

I think Damn School is funnier, so I’ll stick with that. 🙂

A list of disturbing searches that have lead to my blog . . .

1. naked babies

2. naked chinese student

3. sweet chinese naked

4. show some pictures of naked baby girls

At first, I was dumbfounded as to why these type of searches were leading people to my blog and then I remembered – I posted this some time ago. And I am sure now that I have written those specific phrases, more freaks will undoubtedly find themselves here.

For those of you who have blogs, do any of you get equally disturbing searches?

Here are some rather strange searches. Some of them are self-explanatory, but I wish I knew why some of them were typed into Google in the first place.

1. does the dead come back

2. head around corner then gone

3. how to find a misplaced cell phone that is turned off

4. over due goats

5. pictures of a dead pigeon

6. story of princess lives misplaced in a jungle

7. video of person using squat toilet

8. how to get spiders and roaches out of car

9. satan caught on film

10. shenyang whore

11. i am not taught anything at my school

Here are a few more of the entries from my third grade journal.

Haha, I was giddy.  I’m surprised I knew that word.

I think I was an angry kid. I’ve found a lot of entries where

I’ve said that I was mad at someone.

I remember nights when I would sing until I got sleepy.  I was a weird kid.

I can see why I never became a famous artist.

I think I actually remember being mad about this.

How dare someone not tell me they are moving!  The nerve! 🙂

When I was in 3rd grade, Mrs. Lane, my teacher, had me and the rest of the class keep a journal throughout the year.  Phil laughed his ass off when he read through it and thought that I should post a few of them on my blog.  I’ve gone through and taken pictures of the ones I thought were humorous.

How I ever became an English major is beyond me.  My spelling is absolutely atrocious, as you’ll see.  I’m still not that great of a speller today, but at least I don’t spell diary 4 different ways.  🙂  Hey, at least I tried, right?

If you can figure out what I’m trying to say in them, well, you must be special.  Phil had to have me translate a lot of it for him.   Most of it is understandable, I think.   Anyway, I thought it might give you a laugh and make you smile.  I’ll post some more later.

And if you think these are funny, wait until I post the funny journal entry that Phil wrote when he was in elementary school.  I’ll try to get that one up, too.  Enjoy.

Apparently, this was my first day of school.  I don’t remember writing any of these at all.

Of course, this is coming from a kid who really wasn’t afraid of anything that had more than two legs.  My parents had to constantly tell me to be careful what I picked up.  I got bit more times than you can count.

Math was never my strong suit.  I cried over my multiplication tables.  Still do.

I spent many weekends at my grandparent’s house.  I don’t know why I wouldn’t have wanted to go.

I wonder if anyone has every died from laughing.  Sounds painful.

I got bored. And then my batteries died.

I’m not particularly fond of any them. I just thought I would post some pictures.

I couldn’t decide if I liked this one . . .

or this one better. Eh. Neither one is fantastic or anything.

And this one isn’t fantastic either. I don’t really know why I am posting it.

This Wisteria was not cooperating with me or my camera.

I would have taken more photos, but Phil looked perturbed.

I don’t know why, but I really like this one.

Phil and I were driving around one Sunday. We managed to drive to Camden, SC somehow.

I thought this sign was interesting. I’m not sure why there is an Indian on it.

And you know what that means . . .

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat your beans with every meal!

Aren’t they just precious.  I think they are the cutest beans I’ve ever seen.

I’m such a proud mother.

This picture shows just how small they are.

Our plants are so small, it isn’t even funny.  I don’t think any of them are more than a foot tall.  Perhaps we bought midget plants or something. I think it has to do with the lack of light that they get. We have to put them outside soon or else I’m quite certain they are going to bite the dust.

I want to build a little garden area in my backyard, but I don’t even know where to start, and my brother informed that I am probably going to have to spend a few hundred dollars on soil.  How depressing.  Also, my backyard sorta sucks – there is really no good place to build a little garden.

I guess I’ll figure things out eventually.  I’ll have to, or the 80 tomato plants chilling on my back steps are going to run off in protest and plant themselves elsewhere.  I never intended to have 80 Beefsteak tomato plants, but since I have such awesome “greenhouse” light in my office, every single seed I planted in my grow kit sprouted.  I really don’t remember planting 80 seeds, but I guess I did – or else they were magic seeds and they multiplied.  Hey, anything is possible.  🙂

I went over to my Aunt’s house to attend our family Easter dinner. When I got done eating, I went outside with my camera and started taking pictures of the pretty flowers blooming in the back yard. Since I am not entirely sure what these plants were called, I haven’t included their names in this post. I’m not a botanist, so shoot me. And since I can’t think of catchy lines to describe each and every flower I have listed below, I’m just gonna let you look at them and go, “Aww.”

I don’t think I ever intended for my office to turn into a Chinese office, but slowly, that is what is happening. Not that that is a bad thing or anything. I don’t know why I didn’t take a picture of my other Chinese things I have on my wall and what not, but I will later. I’ll take my tripod in one day and take a panorama shot of my office. That should turn out pretty neat, I think.

I don’t have much to say today, but I thought I would at least let you see the two things my Aunt Beverly gave me a week or so ago to help decorate my office.

Bamboo.

I’ve thought about buying a whole lot of these and turning my office into a jungle of sorts.

I thought this little fountain was cool, but the batteries died on me – twice. I think I’m going to have to buy one that plugs into the wall or something if I want the white noise of trickling water calming me as I work. Even though the water is not running right now, it still looks cute on my credenza.