He is the Infamous Ladies Lizard of the Audubon Swamp, and I, Maniac Gone Awry, found him!

For days, I trudged through the swamp, upturning rocks and trees, stopping only to ask the wildlife where I might found the Ladies Lizard of the Audubon Swamp.

Few new where to direct me. Others dare speak his name. But one brave soul spoke loudly.

“Lady, he is over there!”

Turning ever so slowly to the right, I looked, and BEHOLD!!! There he sat! Amongst the green I would have never seen him. He cocked his head and looked at me, a smirk lingering on his face.

“You have found me Maniac Gone Awry, although I have tried valiantly to avoid you these past several days,  Since you have found me, I shall grant you two wishes.”

“Two wishes?”

“What do I look like, a genie?”

“Well, no, not really, but two wishes? That’s a little bit cheap, don’t you think?”

“Maniac, your first wish. I do not have all day.”

“Fine, I wish for three wishes.”

“Granted, you have two more.”

“Oh, you cheap bastard.”

“Was that a wish?”

“No! That was not a wish!!”

“Second wish then, Maniac.”

“I wish to be sane.”

“I’m sorry, no wish can grant that. You are too much of a maniac. Third wish.”

“Third wish? You said it could not be granted.”

“Well, I didn’t know that until I tried to grant it.”

“You cheap bastard.”

“Was that another wish?”

“No! Do you not listen??”

“Very carefully, Maniac.”

“Alright, my third and final wish . . . I wish . . . I don’t know, what would you wish?”

“Hmmm, for you Maniac, I would wish that Mork and Mindy would come on for another season.”

“That’s brilliant! Yes, that is what I wish.”

“Granted.”

And like that he vanished into the green foliage, and I never found him again.

As for Mork and Mindy, Nick at Nite followed through. Reruns, but another season.

That cheap bastard.