Our plane leaves tomorrow morning at 9:14. All that means is that we have to be at the airport at least two hours before that. And all that means is that I have to get up at the crack of dawn to get there in time for the TSA agents to rip open my suitcase in order to determine that I am not a threat to the world . . . at that precise moment in time. Is my bitterness about flying and airport security reaching you through all the 1’s and 0’s? It is? Good. Heh. : )

I don’t know about Phil, but I doubt I will sleep well tonight. It feels almost like the first day of school – except that the first day of school is clear on the other side of the world. And I am not exaggerating. Oh, and my tummy. It is already full of angry butterflies. It will be hard keeping them under control. It is normal to feel this way, right?

The next time that you hear from me, I will indeed be in China. This trip was a year and a half in the making, and I am so thrilled that it has finally come to fruition. There were plenty of times when I thought it would never happen.

Before I leave though, I would like to post a picture that my Dad took. My dad is constantly taking better pictures than me. (Grrr.) I may have to have a little talk with him. But it seems that he has won the hummingbird picture award with flying colors, and no, that was not meant as a joke.

Such a pretty picture. I’m jealous.

But anyway. Time to go. Got to sleep. Have a plane to catch. It’s time to travel to the other side of the world.

Fuyang, China, here we come.

My first attempt at getting this photo was a complete and utter failure. But because I cannot stand defeat(it eats me up inside), I more or less trained like a mad woman for 7 months. Of course, it did help that the working out coincided with my job. Next to boot camp, meter reading is probably the most grueling job a man or woman can have. I cannot express the pain that I endured during those long, often cold, hot, wet days. I had to walk 30 miles on many occasions, jump fences(big fences), and run from dogs that really wanted to eat me (and some times did) in all the weather that mother nature could conjure. In short, I would not suggest doing said job unless pain is one of your finest pleasures.

But anyway, back to the picture at hand. After seven months of dog bites, poison ivy, nails in the foot, and wasp stings that come to find out I am allergic to – I went back to the fearful mountains known to so many as Table Rock. I figured that if I couldn’t climb this beast now, I never would be able to. For those of you not familiar with the Table Rock trail – let me give you the low down. It’s about 4 miles up hill. It’s steep. It’s strenuous. And if you aren’t in reasonable good health, you probably won’t make it all the way up without having a heart attack or something like that. But if you do make it all the way to the tippy top, it’s a very beautiful sight to behold. The worst part of the climb is the steps. There are countless sections that forest rangers have turned into staircases. They consist of rocks, roots, and leveled off sections of ground. You actually have to put some effort into going from one step to the other because there is a large gap between each of the steps. (I imagine that is what the Great Wall is going to be like.) If you can make it through those, there are a few sections with slight inclines that allow you to prepare for the next set of what I like to call “high-steps”. Also, there are a few places that allow you to stop and rest and take in the scenery of the mountain side.

Some key advice on making it through: if on your way up Table Rock you start to have a hard time breathing or you begin to lose faith in your ability to reach the top – just take a 5 minute break, catch your breath, and try to picture the view that you will see when you finally reach the top. There are no roads that take you to the top for cheaters who want the reward but not the hard work. So either take it like a man(or a woman) or just dream about what could have been your accomplishment by looking at my photograph. It is worth every agonizing moment though, I promise.

There has been a change of plans. Phil and I are no longer going to the coastal city of Taizhou to teach English. And I am sorta glad because there is a pretty nasty typhoon named Saomai inching its way toward Taizhou and some other coastal cities as I write this. At last check, under our standards, it was a catergory 5. Eeek! At least now we will be a little more inland and won’t be completely drowned when and if a Typhoon comes are way. We have been relocated to Fuyang, a suburb of Hangzhou, the capital of the Zhejiang Province. Although, there is a river that runs right by Fuyang, and I imagine if it rains a whole lot – I may end up floating home. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. Cause that would be bad. I guess the threat of Malaria is the same. Damn mosquitoes. They are every where! The school that we will be teaching at has an elementary, middle, and high school. We won’t find out what grade level we will be teaching until we get there. I am sorta hoping for the younger kids. Who knows though, they may be the worst of the bunch, but I guess one way or another, we will find out. The name of the school is Fuyang High School Zhejiang (浙江富阳中学), and if you want you can go to their website and try to figure out what all the Chinese characters mean, be my guest. You can also go to www.altavista.com and have it translated, but it doesn’t do that great of a job. I am not a 100% sure that it is right, but I think this may be our school’s website – www.fyms.net I guess I will find out for sure once we get there. Well, that is all I really know at the present. As I learn more things about where I am going – I will post the information. And once I get there – there will be pictures galore!!

Yeppers. You read that right. I, Maniac Gone Awry, am indeed flying to the other side of the world to both live and work in the grand ole land of China. Taizhou, China to be exact. (It is several hours south of Shanghai. I’ll most likely get malaria and then right before I die from that, I’ll get trounced by a typhoon. At least I would be going out in style.) But that is some 54 days away. So . . . until then, I am going to stick to regularly scheduled programming. I am so very far behind. I’ve had to postpone so many enlightening assignments. My other day job, which was truly wretched and soul sucking, if you didn’t already know, kept me from expressing myself. My advise to you: Don’t ever, ever, ever read gas or electric meters unless you have a death wish or like to inflict pain upon to your soul. But now that that has passed, we can all move on to bigger and better things. The life of a Maniac Gone Awry. Stay tuned for brain cell exercises.

The pictures I have placed here for your viewing pleasure are those of my school. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention one key bit of information – I am going to be teaching. Teaching English. To Chinese students. God rest their souls. Heh.

Reporting from Planet Zurgolopia

98% percent of Zurgolopians agree that purple is by far the coolest color in the whole wide world. The other 2% were reported to be sadly color blind. However, they were also reported saying that if they could discern the different colors, they were sure that purple would be their favorite color besides gray, grey, and well, gray.

The cool Zurgolopian glasses were a gift from Sygoat Tymesean, and happen to be a current fad. All the kids love it!! Don’t you??

And for all you wondering about the weather this time a year – well, it’s absolutely fabulous!! Book your vacation today by contacting your local Planet Tourist Office.

Reporting from Planet Zurgolopia
This is a Maniac Gone Awry

All maniacs write in purple. They really do. But I think that because of the template I have chosen, purple ink just might clash. If it does, I’ll just change it, perhaps to a more sane color – simply for the sake of your eyes.

In the picture above, there are 6 little faeries hiding amongst the stumps. They truly are cute little buggers. See how many you can find.

– G