I complain a lot on this blog, and for that I apologize, but I sometimes think that if I keep it all bottled up inside, I may just go berserk, and find myself sitting in the dark depths of a Chinese prison for whatever it is I did in the heat of uncontrolled insanity.

But I do have some fluffy news that may warm your hearts.

On most days, I take the bus to and from school. It’s convenient when I am not in a hurry(or freezing my little tushy off) and even better than that, it’s cheap. I only have to shell out a mere one yuan for each bus I get on, and I only have to get on two of them(that’s just 24 cents if you’re curious) to get to me to the school. I wish there was a direct bus, but hey, you can’t have it all.

Just recently though, Fuyang got new buses. They’re much better than the ones that they used to have. They’re bigger actually, and have two doors so that everyone is not trying to get on at the same time that everyone else is trying to get off. They’re even so modern now that they have invested in a coin box that sits by the door. If you only have big bills on you, there is still the ever trusty person(I can’t think of a name for it) that sits closest to the door and will break them for you. I’ve seen one hundred dollar bills broken before. It’s funny watching the person(again the name for this occupation escapes me) digging through his/her change purse for 99 yuan in change. The most I’ve ever broken is a 10.

On the number 8 bus, the one that everyone swore wouldn’t take me anywhere near my school, there is one of the nicest Chinese people I’ve ever met. She speaks maybe 4 words of English, so we’ve never really had an in-depth conversation, but I’ve always felt that if we could understand each other we would be the best of friends. I have no idea what her name is.

She is always smiling. Always. Every time she sees me getting on the bus she says hello, smiles at me, and waves. For the few minutes that I am in her presence, she looks at me and smiles some more. When it is time for me to get off the bus, she waves, smiles, and usually says bye-bye, but just recently I heard her say see you tomorrow.

Yesterday, I decided I would try to talk to her in Chinese and try to let her know that I would be leaving Fuyang. It didn’t work very well. She didn’t understand my awful Chinese, but it didn’t matter. She kept on smiling at me. After drawing some pictures and repeating myself a few times, I think I finally got her to understand that I was moving to Shenyang.

She will be one of the few people that I will miss when I go. I don’t even know if I will see her again because there are many number 8 buses and I never know which one she is on. I always come across her by chance and only realize that she’s there when I hear her familiar voice as I put my one yuan in the box by the door.

The Internet is still down, and it won’t be another two or so weeks until it is working properly. I can access some American sites, but others are just so flipping slow. So, until the seven boats full of men and woman can get the underwater wires back in order again – this will be the only way to update about our lives her in China. I know that pictures make my stories better, but I do have one story that does not need any photos. Just use a little imagination. Read on.

I have started teaching in a bigger classroom that is equipped with a computer, a screen to project on, and big speakers(even if they don’t work properly). I moved to this classroom because instead of teaching just one class of thirty, I have to teach one class of about sixty.

My former classroom was too small for all of them. Kaliah and Neil used to teach one bunch of thirty, but they left to go back to Australia right before Christmas. And now since there is only one foreign teacher remaining, it is my responsibility to teach them all. I was relieved to find out that I would only have to deal with year 2 students and not year 3 as well. That means only 14 classes, not 28. I also chose this classroom because visuals help. When my students don’t care what I am talking about, they have something at least to look at and keep them entertained.

But anyway, I digress. Let me tell you why I about went commando on my students today.

On Friday, I was teaching(if that’s what it’s called in China) for the first time in several weeks. I had been showing movies because I thought that was probably the best way to deal with sixty devils, but when the school found out – I got yelled at and had to stop. So, the day after I had been scolded, I went back to “teaching”. It only took a few classes to realize why I had decided movies would be best option for my final four weeks. As usual, no one cared what I was saying, no one brought paper or pencil, and they were rowdy as ever. I thought that I could deal with this just for two more weeks, but when a little piece of some strange Chinese food bounced off my jacket and landed on the desk – my sanity broke. Somehow, I convinced myself that the kids were just throwing it at each other and that I somehow ended up in the cross fire and went on about telling them about modern heroes.

After today, I’m pretty confident that it was intentional and that I was always the intended target. I was continuing with my heroes lesson(well, it was really Phil’s and he gave it to me, but who really cares) when at one point I turned my back on the class to hit the next button on my computer(the lesson was a power point presentation). That is when I felt the small object hit my head and bounce onto the desk. I snapped. I turned around and said,”That’s it. Class is over.” The kids had no idea what I had just said because the majority of them are retarded and don’t give a damn about learning English or who teaches it to them. I sat down and started writing a note to the head of the English department, while the students sat there and went on conversing with themselves as if nothing had happened. I tried to figure out who had done it, but no one would confess.

I don’t care if my job is a joke to my school. This is just unacceptable. I should not have to deal with things like this. The sad part is that even though I wrote a note and demanded something be done – nothing will happen. The kids may or may not get a talking to, but they’ll just laugh and go about the rest of their lives being little shits. (Sorry about the foul language in this post – but I am pretty ticked off.)

And that is another wonderful day in the world of Gabe in China. Makes you want to come here doesn’t it?

-G

Sorry for the delay. I know that I suck as a Blogger, but I’ve been sorta busy and tired. Teaching does that to you. I technically work less than four hours a day, but I sit in my office staring at my Dell computer screen when I’m not standing in front of 30 devils and screaming at them. I only have 4 classes a day, but I still have to be at school from about 8 to 5 because of the way my schedule is set up. Next term I am going to ask for later classes so that I don’t have to wait around all day for my next class to start. The following pictures are of things my students have done over the last few weeks. Some are cute, others strange, one is just mean, and well, the last one is just plain nasty. Enjoy.

The first picture is of a gift from one of my best students. Her English name is Tiffany, and I wish that all of my students could be just like her. I was teaching about Halloween and threw in the fact that November 2nd was my birthday. As soon as she heard those words come out of my mouth, she ripped out a piece of paper from her notebook and started to make me a card in class. This of course kept her from writing down any of the new vocabulary words that I was teaching, but that’s okay. I can forgive a Teacher’s Pet any day of the week. Hehe. : ) I think if she had known about my birthday earlier she would have bought me one, but I think I like this one better. It’s much more creative than one she could have purchased in a store. The little stickers are so cute. I might just have to have it framed. It is one of the nicest things a student has done for me.

When I was rearranging my desks for what seemed like the 1,000th time(the student’s love to wreck my room and they don’t ever fix it), I saw this phrase on one of them. The first thing that I thought of was Conan the Barbarian and then pictured him playing really great tennis, but then I knew that couldn’t possibly be the case. Turns out, my student was just insanely bored and was doodling about two cartoon character’s named Detective Conan and another who happens to be the Prince of Tennis. I found this out only after Phil had over 3 of his students for dinner. That’s another story all together.

I don’t play many games with my student’s, mainly because I don’t think they deserve them and also because they can never stay quiet enough, but occasionally I will try to make them happy and play a game of Hangman. This is how I try to teach them new words. Well, I had been playing Hangman for a few weeks and then stopped because I figured it was just not working the way I wanted. Boys just want to hang the man and the girls can never guess the word before the boys have hung the man. So when I stopped, there was one class that made it very obvious that they still wanted to play. They gave me the piece of paper during class one day. It says:  Y O U with the hanged man to the right of it and then AGAIN. It means You Play Hangman Again. I humored them on that day, but not since. I’m such a rotten teacher. Hehe.

This one actually made me mad – for two reasons . . . 1) they think I’m boring(only because I don’t play games and music all day) and 2) they can’t even spell their insults right.

What my students don’t know is that when I get angry it only makes their lives more of a living hell. They should really learn to keep their evil thoughts to themselves.

Soon my students will understand the definition of god by the word Gabe. Mu ah ha ha!!

This is the kicker, the icing on the cake, if you will. For those of you who don’t believe me when I say that my room is a freaking pigsty, I now provide you with the proof! I think that I am really in charge of 700 rotten little pigs. I don’t know where this trash comes from. I never see them eating, but without fail there is litter all over the classroom floor at the end of each day. It doesn’t matter if I sweep it, the trash just reappears. Oh, and this is just one corner of my room. There is another pile just like it on the other side.

I will post pictures of our trip to the Zoo soon. And I still have many other pictures I need to post as well. I’ll try to be a better blogger. Promise.

I did a search for a Halloween cat in Yahoo and this is one of the pictures that turned up. I thought it was pretty cute. It’s great when people manipulate animals and make them do outrageous things like this.(Horray Photoshop) For some reason, it totally brightens my day.

Well, if you didn’t know, Halloween doesn’t exist here in China. Sad face. I am slowly trying to bring it over though. This week I am teaching my little devils about Halloween and the whole art of Trick or Treating. Like normal, some think that it is cool, and the rest of the 700 brats think it is boring, stupid and as uninteresting as me. I actually had a student tell me to my face that he didn’t think I was interesting. How wonderful is it to hear that?

For the good students, I bought some Milk Candy. It’s pretty cheap and good if I must say so myself. I find myself sticking my hand in the bag to nick a piece a bit to often. It’s all going to my hips. I can feel it.

The fun part about teaching Halloween is that I get to scare the living heebie jeebies out of my students and feel justified doing it. When I tell them about haunted houses, I tell them that they are scary and then pick a random bored student who looks like he or she is sleeping and then scream SCARY in the ear while slamming my hands on their desk. Even the boys look like they are about to faint sometimes. The girls look like they might cry. And that really, really, makes my day a good day. I’m evil. I know. But you’d be evil too if you had to put up with their crap.

I do have a few good students, but not enough. I actually had a few of them call me Miss Cook last week and today one called me by my Chinese name – Zi Wei. I rarely hear Gabe. Mostly it is just Teacher! Teacher! I should start screaming Student! Student! and see how they like it.

But anyway, Happy Halloween. Hope some of you got my share of candy because I will be waiting patiently to get it when I finally come home in about 8 or so months – if China will let me leave that is . . .

Oh, and will someone eat a piece of Pumpkin Pie for me. I have been thinking about it all week. Nangua is Chinese for pumpkin, by-the-way. Some of Phil students gave him one. He needs to carve it soon before it starts to rot and we have to throw it out. Anyone have a funny suggestion on what to carve into it?

Post you ideas in the comment section, and if Phil likes your suggestion – I will post a picture of it after he is done.

There has to be as many stray cats in China as there are dogs, if not more, but that’s okay because I love cats. China could not possibly have enough for me to love. And I would love them all if they would let me.

If you walk down any street, you’ll see them. They’ll be in the windows, laying in the shops, lounging on the stairs, or running for their lives down the street and into an alley way. I just pray that they are not a main course on anyone’s plate in any of the restaurants, especially mine. I could probably live knowing I just ate Fido because a small part of my soul will always hate dogs after working at Bermex, but I don’t think I would ever forgive myself if I ate a four legged creature that could purr.

For the most part, they are terrified of everyone or maybe it’s just me. Maybe the whole white aspect of my being is just too much for them to take. Some times I meow at them and they meow back and look a little curious, but for the most part I can’t get close enough to pet a hair on their head. If they see me coming they bolt the other way. One second they’re there and the next they’re gone. It is really quiet depressing. Now that I think of it, maybe they run because they think that I am going to eat them . . . I mean, I am in China where they eat EVERYTHING. And I mean everything.

The first photo is of Meow Meow, a kitty we found at the hostel we stayed at in Shanghai. It was where he had decided to live when he was just a wee little kitten(he’s still small enough to be considered a kitten) and the owners of the place let him stay. He was a very cute little kitty, as well as curious and a trouble maker to boot! During the days that Phil was too sick to do anything, I would go down to the lobby and pet him. He always thought I wanted to play and he would try to bite and scratch me in the playful kitten way of course. When I showed him Gloria, our cricket, he tried to eat her, but he couldn’t get her through the cage. I’m surprised that Gloria didn’t kill over in shock.

The last day we were there Phil went and got us our last McDonald’s meal that we will have for awhile and brought it back to the hostel. We ate it in the lobby since we couldn’t go back to our room anymore. We had checked out, but our train didn’t leave for another two hours. Meow Meow could smell our food and tired so hard to get to it. I gave him a little taste of a fry. What a mistake that was. He wanted more. He started the “I’m a poor defenseless starving kitty” act and had a perfect meow to go with it. He got a few more pieces out of me. I’m weak, what can I say. When we threw our left overs away, he went and sat next to the trash can and got popped by the owner each time he tried to carry any of it out. I felt so bad for the little guy.

This is a photo of one of the random cats we saw while in Shanghai. I took the picture because he looked so cute sleeping in the window. It was the way he had his tail dangling that won me over. Although, cats look cute no matter what they are doing. Heh. If you can’t tell, the shop was for door handles. I tapped on the glass to try to get his attention, but he was sacked out. His ears didn’t even flinch when I hit the glass.

Seeing all these cats made me miss my poor kitty, Morgan. I will be looking forward to seeing her when I go back home. I know that she won’t run from when she sees me. At least she better not or I will cook her up Chinese style!!

One more cat story and then I;ll bring this post to a close.

Last week, I went and sat in on one of Phil’s classes because I had nothing else better to do. And I didn’t feel like hiking up those six flights of stairs just to come back down them an hour later to eat dinner. He was still telling them about our trip to Shanghai instead of doing a lesson he should have (bad Phil) but the kids enjoyed it more so that makes it okay. He showed them some of the pictures we took and the kids ewwed and awwed. Very typical. They eww and aww over just about anything. When Phil got to a picture of me and Meow Meow he pointed at me and said, “Ta ai mao.” It means, she loves cats. Forgive me if I spelled cat wrong in Chinese. The kids though that was pretty cool and class continued fairly normal for the next few minutes until the back of the class erupted in shrieks and yells.

I had no idea what was going on. All the girls were making a fuss and everyone was jumping out of there seats and standing on them. I thought maybe a mouse, a rat, or a big bug had run into the room. But I was wrong. Before I tell you what they were screaming over, although, I am sure you know, Phil’s class room was on the second floor and a little ways away from town. It ended up being a cat. Yes, a cat. (I am convinced that I willed it into existence.) Someone yelled that it was a cat, but I didn’t believe it until someone actually picked it up and held it out to me. The cat was not happy at all. He was meowing like Morgan does right before she rips me to shreds. I grabbed the cat and tried to get him out of the classroom as quick as I could, but I found that difficult because all of the kids were more or less surrounding me and the stressed to all hell kitty was trying to wiggle out of my arms. I got him out of the classroom though and then found myself asking what in the world to do with him. I didn’t just want to let him run loose. He was in the middle of school campus and anything might happen to him. And that is when it hit me. This cat looked familiar. I even recognized his meow, which was really deep and coarse. Some of the kids insisted that he was theirs, but I knew they were lying. I asked them what his name was and they had to think about it and then picked a random one off the top of their heads.

The cat ended up being from one of the noodle shops at the bottom of the hill the leads to the school. I had seen him there on a few mornings and had petted him once or twice before getting on the bus to go to my school. I don’t know how he got to Phil’s school or what he was doing on the second floor, but I decided that it would be best if I walked him back home. I tried to carry him, but he didn’t like that and growled something awful. I must say that he didn’t bite or scratch me at all during his awful endeavor. At one point, I put him down and he started meowing at me and purring. I walked a way from him a little and he started following me. Believe it or not, the cat followed me almost all the way back to his noodle shop and the only reason he didn’t is because I picked him up. I thought there was too much traffic and he might run off if cab or something honked at him.

Once I got to the noodle shop, I put him back down and he seemed to know where he was. He plopped down on the stairs and started taking a nap. I went in and tried asking someone if he belonged to them, but of course, no one spoke a lick of English. I was about to give up and let the poor kitty fend for himself when a woman that could speak English showed up. I told her where I found the cat and that I knew it belonged here because I had seen it a few times. She asked a few of the workers if they knew who it belonged to, but they didn’t know. She said she was sorry and that she thought it was a stray, but then a guy walked out and started talking to the lady. She told me that he knew it belonged to the owners of the shop but they weren’t there or something like that. The lady said that it was a very nice thing that I did. I said no problem, and went on back to school so I could have my wonderful canteen dinner.

It wasn’t until later that I feared that maybe the cat became someone’s dinner at the noodle shop. I surely hope it didn’t or else I would feel really bad. I walk by the shop every morning hoping to see the cat again, but I still haven’t and it has been a few days. Of course, I didn’t see him that often there to begin with. Maybe he ran away again or the owners of the shop took him home. That’s what I hope anyway. That would make me happy.

I saw the strangest thing one day outside of my classroom window as I was day dreaming my day away and had to get a picture of it. If you remember from a previous post of mine, there is a big track outside of my 5th story window and a massive area of grass is in its interior. Well, that is where these four fine ladies are sitting. At least, I think they are women. It is hard to tell from where I took the picture. I had seen them early in the week, but I didn’t know exactly what they were doing until later. It struck me as I stood by the window watching them very slowly transform the field.

These ladies, as it turns out, are Human Lawn Mowers. That is not an exaggeration, at least not really. What they do is this: They sit on these itty bitty stools that you can sorta see in the picture, if you look closey, and they pick the tall pieces of grass and weeds that they can reach. They take these pieces, put them into small baskets until they get full, and then put it in that wheely thing you see and roll it away. Your guess is as good as mine on where they take it from there, but unless it is some special kind of grass, it probably goes straight into a trash can.

These women did little sections of the entire field for a good long week, if not longer, until the field looked nice and trimmed. I’m not kidding. They really did. And the craziest thing is that when they were all done – the field actually looked better than when they started. I have seen exactly one lawn mower since I came to China almost two months ago and it took 3 people to operate it. It was as though they had never used it before. I think that is one of the things I miss – the sound of lawn mowers on a Saturday or Sunday morning. There isn’t a lot of grass here in China, and if you happen to come across any, you are more than likely not allowed to sit or walk on it. You can look at it all you want to – but the instant your foot touches a single blade – you may get a whistle blown at you. I’m sorta lucky, though. I can go to the primary school right beside my school and sit on their little patch of grass all I want to and the only thing bad that will happen to me is a weird stare from some of the staff members.

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I still have a billion pictures I want to post, but I’ve been too tired and depressed to post or talk about them. Hopefully, I will get in a better mood so that I can tell you about what all Phil and I have done. There are still several pictures from Shanghai and some new pictures that I just took of an Ancient Paper Making Village. My readership has dwindled this week and I don’t know why – maybe it is the lack of posting. Or maybe my blog just sucks. I am hoping for the first one. I would hate to think that this blog sucks. That would make me more depressed.

If you think of any way to make middle school students behave, please feel free to post your insights. They are really starting to drive me insane. For Halloween, I am going to buy all of them Devil Horns. Maybe a pitch fork for the really bad ones.

On every floor of my school there is an area where you can find a chalk board. The students love to write messages and draw pictures on them. I never know what they are writing for the obvious fact that it is in Chinese, but I imagine it is like a bulletin of sorts. The things that they write or draw have purpose and order – it isn’t chaotic or anything. They would appear to have themes.

The thing I like to look at most is the art work the students do. The first picture that I have posted is of a cartoon character that we call Naruto back home. He seems to be pretty popular here. The cool thing about their art work is that they don’t just draw the picture – the push the chalk into the board until it forms a raised bump and then a lot of little bumps form a section and the sections become a picture. It is hard to just wipe off. You have to scrape it pretty hard.

To give you an idea of what the pushed chalk looks like, I took a close up of another drawing some of the kids did. I will show the big picture and then the close up version. I can’t figure out what it is. It almost looks like a stop light, but I haven’t ever seen one quite like it. Maybe some of you will know.

Exhibit A – Weird Stop Light Thingy

See what I mean about not knowing exactly what it is. It sorta looks like a traffic light, but I’m not exactly sure.

Exhibit B – Close up of Weird Stop Light Thingy

Sorta looks like ground meat got slapped on the board. Interesting.

Exhibit C – The Writing on The Wall

God only knows what it means.

My lovely classroom.

This is where I teach all my precious little devils how to speak and understand English. The room in the picutre is neat only because I had just straighted it back up. I try very hard to keep the desk in pairs. I like to walk around the classroom and it helps keep them from talking more than they already do. Besides the chalk board that is behind me – there is nothing in the room but the student’s desks and chairs. It is a rather dirty, dull room. At least I have a “view” being on the 5th floor.

This is the view from my classroom window. That massive building you see on the other side of the track is the Primary School. It is about 7 floors and they have an elevator. Lucky bastards.

I like to watch all the little kids running around outside. They look like little ants and have so much energy. I don’t know how I would handle teaching them. Although my kids are devils, I think I have the easiest platform. Note the blue sky. Blue skies here are rare.

This is the courtyard or the center of the school. The picture only shows half of it, but the other side is identical. One day I saw a kid get pushed into the bushes. The bushes swallowed him and I laughed. The kids here are either A) very affectionate or B) ultra-violent. There is no in-between.

I got bored going home one day and decided to take a picture of myself in the stairwell. I thought I was the only one there, but as I went to go snap the picture – the kid took off running down the hall. It is a weird picture, but I thought it was sorta cool.

Ah. Look at them. Preparing for battle . . . Heh, that would be funny if they were, but no such luck. Every morning the kids have to participate in excerises. It is a pretty long routine, but they remember every little movement they have to do. They don’t like it at all and it is all done half-heartidly. The sad part is that my camera could only capture half of the student body. The population of the school could easily beat that of any school back in the States. It is amazing how many people there are here.

Here she is, folks. My school – well, at least some of her anyway. There was no real way to capture the school in its entirety. It is a rather big school and there are even more students.

The school might as well be my second home, or my first home rather, for I spend more time here than I do anywhere else. I am at the school Monday through Friday between 7 and 8 everyday and get home somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 or 5. I only teach 4 classes a day, but those 4 classes are spread throughout the day. When I am not teaching, I am sitting in my office and playing on the computer – much like I am now. There isn’t anything else to do, really. If I want to go off campus and go somewhere interesting – I have to walk 10 minutes to the RT Mart(Grocery store). It is a lot like a Wal-Mart, if not bigger. There are 3 floors. Top floor is snacks, electronics, clothes, and house items. The second floor is all things cold, fruit, bread, meat, and canned goods. The first floor is like a mall. There are several smaller stores there. There is a KFC and dumpling store on the first floor, too. I haven’t eaten KFC in a while. The place is expensive and steals all my money when I go there. But it hits the spot when I am craving food from home – so I try to not let the whole expensive thing keep me away from it.

I’ve been in China for one month and a day now. It is hard to believe. The time has gone by so quickly. Many of the days have blended together and I don’t know where they have gone. I find myself trying to grasp the idea of where I am even more so than when I first arrived. I see the Chinese people and I hear them talk, there are Chinese characters that I can’t read everywhere and most of the time no one understands the words that come out of mouth – but I still have a hard time understanding that I really am in China. It feels like a dream. Sometimes, I think that I am only just in Florida on vacation and the population of Asians has grown by leaps and bounds.

I think that is one of the hardest things . . . being able to understand that home is 7,000 plus miles away and that I can’t just get in car and drive there. So many things used to be familiar and now almost all things are foreign – except for the universal signs like KFC and the famous arches that have seemed to take over the world. I hear there is even a Dairy Queen in Hangzhou.

It is weird not having a car. Phil really misses driving, and I do too, sometimes. Carrying everything you buy home makes you watch what you buy. Anything too heavy gets left behind until another day.

I have 14 classes left this week and then it is the weekend. Then it is vacation time for me and all the rest of China. National Day is on October 1st, but for some reason we get a week off. I’m not going to complain. During this week we are going to Shanghai to sight-see and to meet up with some Phil’s friends from back home. I am going to enjoy every second of it. It is not everyday you get to go to largest city in the world.

If I am not too busy tonight, I will post more pictures of the school. I have some interesting ones. You’ll see what I mean.

Fu yang Yong Xing School(Foo Young Yong Shing) – A private school filled to the brim with pesky little devils. That is what it should translate into, but no school would admit to such a thing. And if anyone ever asks me what Yong Xing means – that is exactly what I am going to tell them because the world deserves to know the truth.

The day before I taught, I imagined eager, but shy students to stand up and say “Good Morning Good Teacher” along with all the other niceties one would come to expect from such a so-called strict nation. I pictured a quiet class, one that would listen to me and raise their hands to answer questions. I thought that they might know some basic English, if not a little more. I imagined a lot of things. I wanted to believe that Chinese students were what every American teacher dreamed of teaching.

I could not have been more wrong.

I expected a lot a things to happen here in China, but I did not expect to find insane, rude, pesky, loud, annoying, fighting, little devil students in my classroom. More or less, everything I have ever been told or read went out the window the very first day I taught. I had a very serious O.M.G moment. But I kept my cool and tried to teach the helpless buggers anyway.

During my first week, I taught each of my 20 classes(I only teach each student one time a week) about me. I wrote the word introduction up on the board and then proceeded to tell them all the things about yours truly. I told them where I was from and all that jazz. I talked about things I liked to do – where I took a small moment to scare the crap out of them by acting out what kind of books Stephen King wrote. I would sneak quietly up to their desks and say, “Stephen King writes SCARY(insert slapping my hands down on their desk very, very loudly) books!” I almost made them all faint. The girls took it the worse, but I saw some boys trying to catch their breath as well. It is little pleasures like this that will help me get through the next 9 months. I know, I know, I’m evil – but you have to have some kind of fun into the classroom. I did a similar thing with the word crazy. When they couldn’t tell me what it meant – I would promptly throw my hands in the air and start screaming, “CRAZY, CRAZY, I’M CRAZY!!” That made them all want to faint again. At least I kept them on the edge of their seat that one day.

Anyways, I told them about my family and how many brothers and sisters I have. They couldn’t believe I had 5 siblings. Here in China, they practice the one child policy. I understand why they are doing it, but it is still a little sad. In the end, I had them get up and introduce themselves to me. All they had to do was read what I wrote on the board and fill in the blanks. The read very well, although all the answers were very similar. Copy cats.

This all in all sounds wonderful to you and it almost sounds wonderful to me the way I wrote it, but the painful truth is that they just didn’t care. I had to beg people to answer me. No one had questions . They were loud. Sometimes they refused to stand up. I heard “I don’t know” 100 different times. I don’t know is their way of getting out of not answering and they know that. They don’t listen. If I was their Chinese teacher they would have stood and greeted me. That did not happen. The do their homework for other classes on the front row right in front of me. It is truly insane. They fight, they talk, they pass notes, throw money and about a dozen other things as though I am not there. A lot of them don’t even bring paper or pencils. I think they think that my class is a free period where they are not required to learn. The worst part about it – is that I think the school knows this and they don’t care. It is simply amazing. That is all I can really say.

This week was on Friendship and Best Friends and all that neat stuff. They were so completely uninterested. I am at a loss on how to get them to want to learn English. I have only been here two weeks, and I am about to give up on the aspect. Maybe I should stand in front of class and just say random stuff and see what happens.

They can’t even remember my Chinese name for goodness sake. Even Phil’s students know my name and they have seen me like once here and there. My students don’t remember anything either. I can make them repeat something and make them tell me what it is – but if you ask them the same question 5 minutes later – they have no idea what you are talking about.

I’ve told some of the bad students that I would eat their souls for breakfast and that I throw bad students out the window and that I even burn homework from another class that is done and my class. I think I may burn the next homework I see someone doing while I am teaching.

Sorry for such the down post – but I hadn’t had the chance to talk about it much on the blog. I have more pictures of the school, but like normal – I can only post one at a time here at school for some strange reason.

Phil and I are going to Hangzhou this weekend to get a train ticket to Shanghai during the first week of October – National Day it is called. It is a holiday for just about everyone. I will be looking forward to going. There is a lot to see in Shanghai. One of the first places I am going to will be a Subway(the restaurant) and eat be a sub sandwich. It has been so long since I have had one.

Who ever it was that told me that Chinese food is good and filling lied. I hate you. And I mean that it the most loving way possible.