It had been so long since I’d received a rejection letter that I’d nearly forgotten what one felt or looked like.  So, April, being the meanest month ever, decided to give me three, one for each day so far to make sure I wouldn’t forget anytime soon.  Thanks, April, thanks so much.

Rejection #11 – Slice Magazine

Dear Gabrielle Olexa:

Thanks so much for giving us the opportunity to consider your work for Slice. Due to the high volume of submissions we receive, we regret that we aren’t able to respond to each submission personally. We’ve been thoroughly impressed by the quality of the work that we’ve received. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to include your piece in our next issue of Slice. We’d love to consider more of your work in the future, though, so please do continue submitting to us.

Best wish

The Editors

Rejection #12 – carte blanche

Dear Gabrielle Olexa,

Thank you for sending us ‘Jenny Kissed Me’. We appreciate the chance to read it. Unfortunately, the piece is not right for us at this moment.

Thanks again and best of luck with your writing.

Sincerely,
The Editors
carte blanche

And lucky Rejection #13 – Pinball

Dear Gabrielle,

We appreciated the opportunity to get to know ‘Jenny Kissed Me,’ but we decided that it’s not for us. The best way to get a feel for what we’re looking for is to get to know Pinball at http://www.thisispinball.com. If you haven’t already, please read what’s available on our site or purchase the ebook of an issue.

Thanks again for sending us your work and best of luck placing it elsewhere.

Sincerely,

The Editors
Pinball

Here’s to hoping April showers bring me May flowers.  Some flowers would be nice.

Boo hiss.  More rejections.

I’ve gotten three since my last update.  One the night before my vacation started, one during, and one shortly after I got back.  Each of them were form letters.  So, that makes a total of ten rejections.  Two more for “Jenny Kissed Me” and one more for “Jenny of Lebanon”.

Rejection #8 – from West Branch

Dear Gabrielle Olexa:

Thank you for submitting to West Branch. We read every story, poem, and essay submitted to us carefully, and we delight in publishing both established and emerging writers. Unfortunately, we are not able to accept your work for publication at this time.

We appreciate your interest in the journal, and we wish you the best in your writing.

Sincerely,

The Editors of West Branch

Rejection # 9 – from New England Review (I was most bummed about this one.)

Dear Gabrielle Olexa,

Thank you for giving us the chance to read ” Jenny of Lebanon.” While we have found that it’s not a good fit for the New England Review, we wish you the best in placing it elsewhere and appreciate your interest in our magazine.

Sincerely,
The Editors
New England Review

Rejection #10 – from The Literarian

Dear Gabrielle,

Dawn Raffel

Rejection letter lucky number seven comes courtesy of One Story, a publication I actually subscribe to because I like how they only feature a single writer only one time, ever, and that the publication itself has, well, one story.  I wish they would do something similar for slightly longer stories.

Only 93 more rejection letters before I officially change my name to Rejection Letter Queen Olexa.  Kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

At least they said they enjoyed it.  I wish they had enjoyed just a wee bit more.  Oh, well.  There is always next time . . .

Rejection Letter #7 – One Story

Dear Gabrielle Olexa:

Thank you for sending us “Jenny Kissed Me”. We really enjoyed this piece, but we didn’t feel it was right for One Story.

We hope that you will continue to send us your work.

Sincerely,

The Editors of One Story

This one came earlier than expected.  Someone, somewhere is bound to eventually like “Jenny Kissed Me” enough to buy her, right?  When I get to rejection letter # 100, I may consider changing my name legally to Rejection Queen.

Rejection Letter #6 – The Cincinnati Review

Dear Writer:

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your work. We’ve read it with care but have decided not to accept it for publication. Best of luck placing it elsewhere.

Our reading period is now August 15th through April 15th. If you want to know more about this change, please read our blog post on the subject: cincinnatireview.com/blog/uncategorized/rethinking-our-reading-period.

Sincerely,

The Editors of The Cincinnati Review

Well, it was bound to happen, so I am not that depressed about it.  Rejection letter # 5 comes courtesy of The New Yorker.  It was very simple, to the point.  I’m sure hundreds of other people share a similar piece of paper/e-mail.  At least, I’m not alone.  In case you were wondering what a rejection letter from The New Yorker looks like:

Rejection Letter #5 – The New Yorker

A day after my rejection letter from Words and Images, I got another, but this one was one of the most promising ones I have received thus far.  If one editor nibbles, one is bound to bite somewhere, right?  That is my hope at least.  I still have 9 others considering “Jenny Kissed Me” now.  If they all say no, and that is an extreme possibility, I’ll have to go back to the drawing board.  Let’s all cross our fingers that I don’t have to.  Here is the rejection I received from Room magazine.  I only wish they had liked it just a little more.

Rejection Letter #4 – Room Magazine

Dear Gabrielle Olexa,

Thank you for submitting your Fiction to Room magazine. While we are unable to accept Jenny Kissed Me for publication, we would very much like to see more of your work.

Members of Room’s collective read over 1200 submissions of poetry, fiction, and creative non-fiction each year, of which less than 2% are accepted for publication. As you can imagine, we have to make some very tough choices. Each issue of Room is edited by a different collective member, and each issue editor is responsible for choosing manuscripts that most closely match her issue in theme and feeling.

Your submission was one of very few that gets passed on by our readers to an issue editor. We really liked it, but were ultimately unable to use it in one of our upcoming issues. Please be sure to send us more of your writing. You can find out what themes might be under consideration by visiting our website, http://roommagazine.com.

We look forward to reading more of your work.

I got a highly unusual rejection letter the other day.  It wasn’t personal or anything.  It was a very standard, sorry, but thank you for trying type letter.  So standard, it didn’t even say Dear Gabrielle Olexa or mention the story I’d written.  So standard, it was only one sentence long.  That was expected, though, so I wasn’t too bummed about the whole ordeal – rejection letters are an odd source of nourishment for writers.  What made it unusual was that everyone else who had been considered and rejected were also included, instead of being blind copied like they should have been.  I got a second email not long after apologizing for the novice mistake.  For a very skinny minute, I thought about sending an email to each writer and telling them that I felt their pain and wishing them luck in their future endeavors, but once I realized how ridiculous that would be, I just moved the email into my growing rejection folder and moved on with my life.

The rejection letter was from the magazine Word and Images and it went like this:

Rejection Letter #3 – Word and Images

We thank you for submitting your piece to Words and Images but we regret to inform you it has not been selected for printing in the 2013 issue.
Sincerely,
The staff of Words and Images

I woke up this morning to my second rejection letter.  It wasn’t the way I wanted to start this beautiful Friday, but at least I won’t have to wonder what The Fiction Desk thought of “Jenny Kissed Me” anymore.  Their response was, as expected, a form, and this is how it went:

Rejection Letter #2 – The Fiction Desk

If you’d like to find out more about this kind of stories we publish, you can download free samples of our anthologies, containing complete stories, for your iPad, iPhone, or Kindle.

I looked up examples of rejection letters that other people have received, and it seems that just about everyone and their sister’s brother gets this one, so I wasn’t too surprised when I got it too.  However, I was surprised to find a typo.  Did you see it?  They put a “this” instead of a “the” when instructing me how to find out what kind of stories they publish.  I wonder if it is some sort of test, to see who is brave enough to let them know.  Well, it won’t be me.  I make mistakes all the bloody time.  I’ll be the last person to call out a literary magazine.  But if you want to inform them, be my guest.

I currently have 10 more possibilities for “Jenny Kissed Me”, at least in the paying market, and 1 in the non-paying market, but I won’t hear back from any of them any time soon.  The next one I will probably hear from is 42 Magazine, followed by The Lifted Brow.

Well, time to work on my novel, “Terminus”.

Today I got my first rejection letter for “Jenny Kissed Me”, a short story I wrote a billion years ago and just recently threw into the shark infested waters of the publishing world.  I completely expected to get a rejection letter, probably a dozen (or two hundred) before someone accepted her out of pity, but it still stung.  Not as much as the piping hot butternut squash that burned the top of my mouth earlier, but I’ll probably eat an extra large bowl of ice cream later to make myself feel better.

Who rejected me?  Echo Ink Review did, and this is what they had to say:

Rejection Letter #1 – Echo Ink Review

Dear Gabrielle Olexa,

Thank you for your interest in Echo Ink Review.

We cannot at this time use “Jenny Kissed Me,” but we appreciate the opportunity to read your work.

If you have additional, similarly toned work, please send it our way. Best of luck, and thank you again for your interest in Echo Ink Review.

Regards,

The Editors,
Echo Ink Review

I like that they 1) took the time to write out the name of my story and 2) that they included the bit about sending them similarly toned work.  At least they didn’t say, “You suck, get a life!”

Oh, well.  I was bound to get one eventually.  Here’s to hoping that one of the other 13 places I sent Jenny to will like her more.