Long time no blog.

I have no real excuses.

I am still working on the post about my trip to the Shenyang hospital.  Most of it is done, but I want it to be as perfect as I can get it.  I’m a stupid perfectionist, what can I say?

Lately, life has been, well, life.  I had $255.00 of work done on my car, so now I am really hurting for money.  It took away a month that I could wait on a good job.  So, to make sure that I don’t spend another unnecessary penny, I sleep all day.  If I am asleep, I can’t drive and waste gas and I definitely can’t eat.  Eating cost money unless there is food stashed in the cupboards( I never knew that word was spelled like that).  My day, on most days, consists of me getting up and applying for any and all jobs that I can find online and then waiting for one of the 120 jobs I’ve applied to already to call me back for a freaking interview. 

As you may have read, Phil was offered a fairly nice job at the State.  He was happy.  I was happy.  Blue Cross Blue Shields(an insurance company) however, was not.  They begged and pleaded him to come in for an interview, knowing full well that he already had a job.  He decided to go and appease them.  I mean, what would it hurt to see what they had to offer?  On the day of his interview, they kept him for 3 hours and gave him an offer that the majority of the people on the planet couldn’t turn down.  I can’t quote the number they offered because that would be rude, and I don’t think Phil would appreciate it, but I can say that it was a heck of a lot more than the State cared to put on the table.  Also, it is probably more than I will ever make annually.  So, if I had a Sugar Daddy before, I must have Sugar Daddy Executive now.  Heh.

Also in the news of Gabe, my mother has told me that I am allowed to turn my backyard into berry farm. 

GabbyGirl1981: I found a raspberry plant that grows in the south
dianacarol47: GREAT
GabbyGirl1981: Now I just need a plot of land so I can start growing blackberries, strawberries, blueberries and raspberries.
GabbyGirl1981: Can I just use the back yard?
GabbyGirl1981: like, all of it?
dianacarol47: SURE
dianacarol47: YEAH

I was so happy that I started walking my backyard to figure out just how many plants I could stuff back there.  If you have ever seen my backyard, it’s not very big, but it could probably hold around 60 plants or so comfortably.  Maybe more.  I am going to have to get out there and measure and what not before I order anything.  First, I need cash, which means I need a job.  Hopefully, that will happen before too long.  Once I get one, I can order from a nursery in Georgia that carries southern varieties of raspberries and blueberries.  For 20 blackberry, 20 raspberry, 10 blueberries, and 10 strawberry bushes, it will only cost $234.00, including shipping.  Not that bad really.  My only other cost would be any soil I would have to buy, as well as any other garden needs.  I might be able to borrow a tiller, but if I can’t, I might be able to rent one.  And then, in a year, at max two, I’d have a wonderful crop of berries to sell to my fellow Columbians.  I never said how big I wanted my berry farm to be when I told you all about my dreams.  My backyard would be a start, and starts are all dreams need.

1.  I am still jobless.
2.  I am working on a very long post about a trip I had to a Chinese hospital.
3.  During my spare time, which happens to be a lot, I’ve been taking out all of my frustration by killing people playing a game called Battlefield 2142.  I’m actually not that bad.
4.  I’m about to leave the house and go Dork for a few hours.  For those of you who don’t know, Dork is my code word for playing DnD.  And for those of you who don’t know what DnD means – well, you may be better off.  My Mom tells me it has something to do with worshiping Satan or something like that. 
5.  I was actually offered a part time, $20 an hour job, but the contract they wanted me to sign was so wickety wack that I had to politely turn them down.  They of course weren’t very happy.  They said a lot of mean things to me in their nicest tone, and it was then that I realized I made a very good decision. 
6.  My kitty, Morgan Rose Ireland Yvette DeWitter, is giving me that look, so I better go feed her before she attempts to eat my soul or something again.  Last time, I barely survived.

It’s my birthday today.
I’m 26.
I’m jobless.
Can you imagine what my wish will be when I blow out my candles on my cake?

There are few candles missing on my jpeg cake.

Today is also Cookie Monster’s birthday.
I don’t know how old he is.
My old Sesame Street calendar only tells me the date – not the year.
I imagine that he is a wee bit older than myself.
For the record, he is my favorite Sesame Street character and
I know he could beat up that little red twerp, Elmo, with his hands tied behind his back.

The coolest blue dude in the entire universe.

And for those of you who did not know – today is also the Day of the Dead(Día de los Muertos).  I guess if you can’t be born on Halloween, this is the next best day.  If you want to read more about this holiday click here.  I’d like to go down to Mexico and participate one year.  I think it would be a very interesting experience to say the least.

Day of the Dead Cat

For my birthday, I am going to veg at Phil’s parent’s lake house, where I will fish(catch and release – I know, what’s the point?) and watch She-ra until I believe that I am He-man’s twin sister and start screaming “For the honor of Greyskull!”.  She-ra was awesome.  One of these days I’m going to buy a wig and prance around town as She-ra for Halloween.

How many girls out there wanted to be She-ra when they grew up?
I know at least one.

Very slowly, I have been reading Contact by Carl Sagan.  I started it way back in the days of Shenyang and wasn’t able to finish before I left China for a multitude of reasons.  I’ve only now managed to get past the midway point.  I know, I’m pathetic.  : )  I’ve been enjoying it, it’s just that I have had a lot of things on my to-do-list lately – being social, searching for jobs, managing my family tree, and studying for the Praxis subject test to name a few.  Anyway, while reading it, I’ve come across several quotes that I’ve liked. The most recent one is a bit dark and pessimistic, but it made a lot of sense to me when I read it at two something in the morning and I thought I would share it. 

If you don’t have time to read the book, you should check out the movie.  For the most part, so far, they aren’t that different.  The only thing you’d miss in the movie is the depth of emotion, a few dozen characters, including a female president(I think) and huge discussion of whether or not they should build the Machine.  The quote below is part of that huge discussion.  I don’t know why, but to me it seems more like an eloquent "Life sucks and then you die" speech than anything else.  Perhaps that is why I liked it so much.

"[D]on’t you understand?" A vein in Lunacharsky’s neck throbbed.  "I’m amazed you don’t see it.  The Earth is a  . . . ghetto.  Yes, a ghetto.  All human beings are trapped here.  We have heard vaguely  that there are big cities out there beyond the ghetto, with broad boulevards filled with droshkys and beautiful perfumed women in furs.  But the cities are too far away, and we are too poor ever to go there, even the richest of us.  Anyway, we know they don’t want us.  That’s why they’ve left us in this pathetic little village in the first place."

If you haven’t had the chance to read My Chinese Headache Part 1 and 2, please click here and here. I suppose it’s not completely necessary, but it may make the following emails more humorous if you do.

Phil wanted me to wait until we got home before I posted them just in case the wrong person happened to come across them. He didn’t want to make our lives any more difficult than they were at the time. And I didn’t want to post it until I had the time to explain our reasoning for why we left. Now that we are home, and I finally got around to telling that story, I can now post what is probably the funniest bunch of emails that I have ever received.

There were several more emails than just the three I’m going to let you read, but these were by far the funniest – particularly the two written by Richard Guo(Yuli Guo).   The other one is written by our recruiter, Lea.  Please know that a lot of what Richard says in his emails is hogwash.  The main reason why I’m posting it is because it makes me laugh until my sides hurt.

ENJOY!

From: Yuli Guo(Richard)
To: Phil, Lea, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007

more than 4 months’salary of Tim.  When the teachers she sold in China having difficulties she never gives real help but sending an email to fool both teachers and Jessica about the whole situation. Teachers were not told by Mrs. Walker that how much they were sold. Teachers were also never told that because she cheated the host school which makes the teachers she sent over in a difficult situation. On the surface it seems your contract has no connection with Mrs. Walker’s evil doing, but it closed connected with each other. Phillip and Gabe, don’t worry and no thanks, , we will help both of you go home but always remember that it is Mrs. Walker’s evil way of doing the business that put you guys in a such difficult situation. I do hope you can go to the authority concerned in China and disclose Mrs. Walker’s evil behavior.

Richard Guo

From: Lea
To: Richard, Phil, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Sent: Mon, 20 Aug 2007
Subject: Re: More problems, sorry to bother you.

I’ve only been home for about three weeks, and I am starting to remember why I left in the first place. The U S of A is wonderful and free, beautiful and clean, but the truth of the matter is that there just aren’t any jobs for English majors that pay what a person really needs to live. By live I mean being able to own a house, pay the bills, and save for what is supposed to be an enjoyable retirement.

So far, in my three weeks of searching, I have discovered that my job options include flipping burgers, working the 3rd shift at the gas station down the street where I possibly could get shot, answering computer questions as a customer service representative at one of the fifteen call centers, waiting hand and foot on a boss as an executive assistant(that’s a fancy term for secretary), and working as a movie extra.

Now before someone screams, “Why don’t you be a teacher?!” – let me tell you why that isn’t as easy as it seems. After talking to about a dozen people or so(11 of which were completely clueless), I was finally told that in order to teach in the backward state of South Carolina I either have to go back to school and get my Masters or start the PACE program that will take 3 years of my life to complete. Going back to school to get my Masters is out of the question. At this moment in my life, you couldn’t pay me to go back to school. In fact, if someone said I had a choice between continuing my education and certain death – I am 99% percent sure that I would choose death. That is how much I flipping hate school. The PACE program is a possibility, but I don’t fully understand it and what all the requirements are. The one thing that I do know is that I would have to take some graduate courses – and well, that requires school and probably several more tests than I even care to think about. Before I decide not to take that route, I will keep that window open, but it isn’t one that I want to crawl through if I can help it.

So far I’ve given my resume to a travel agent. They asked me the typical question of whether I had any travel agent experience and I had to tell them no, but that I had loads of travel experience. The woman that I was talking to gave me a fake smile and said that she would keep my resume on file and if they ever decided to train someone that they would give me a call. That of course translates into: As soon as you walk out of my store, I am going to incinerate your resume and erase your image off the back of my retina. I’ll go back in a few days and double check. I guess anything is possible.

I’ve also applied for 5 random state jobs. I am pretty sure I am qualified for them, but it really depends on who else has applied and if the person scanning through the resumes thinks I’m special or not. I just applied for them today, so I’m sure it will be a while before I hear back from them.

The sad part about all of this is that I have actually had the idea of going back to China to teach English cross my mind. I know that there are probably several legit programs over there that I would actually enjoy participating in, but without a teacher and ESL certificate, the money I would make over there wouldn’t equal an American salary or a enjoyable retirement.

Just what is a girl to do? *sigh*

Well, I guess I will just either A) hope to win the lottery which I don’t have the money to play because I don’t have a job or B) continue to search through the classifieds on Sunday until something screams at me. Until then . . . you’ll just have to listen to me complain. 🙂

I made it home in one piece, barely. I’m currently on an American high. Jet lag is kicking my butt and everyone and their brother wants to stop by and visit me. So, with that said, as soon as life gets something like normal again, I will continue with my explanation on why I decided to leave China. Sorry that I suck at posting, but life just hasn’t been normal lately.

Oh, and if ANYONE knows of ANY cool jobs out there for an English major – PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Thanks in advance!

A year and 2 days ago I landed in Shanghai, China. Time flies by so fast. It feels just like yesterday I was teaching in Fuyang, China threatening to kill all my students. This year has most definitely been an experience that I will never forget and I am very glad that I kept some form of journal, my blog, so that I can go back and remind myself just in case I start to forget what exactly I have been through in these last 12 months. Even now I occasionally go back and read and am amazed.

I am still working on the super long post about why I made the decision to go home. I may have to wait until I get home to finish it. It’s already over 2,000 words and I still haven’t gotten to the most interesting part of the story yet. I’ll see what I can do before tomorrow morning when I head out. We’ve just been so busy going to the last few places that we’ve wanted to see and spending time with the people we will probably miss the most – Patty, Eddie, and Elisa, some fellow Americans we met here in Xiamen. Also, we’ve been packing and cleaning for days now and we still aren’t quite done yet. We still have our bedroom to dust, mop and we have to move the extra bed out of there, too. I will post the story eventually, it just might take me awhile. It’s a long, evolved story, and you will understand that once you get a chance to read it.

Well, in case I don’t post again until I get home – Zaijin, China.

The news that I have been holding off telling is that I am going home. I’m leaving China, and I am not coming back – at least not for a good long while. I am currently working on a post that goes into the details on why I made this choice, and I will be done with that soon. Like most of my experiences in China, the story that made me make this decision is slightly complicated, long, a bit difficult, and even at times humorous, but I’ll let you be the judge when you read it.

We will be leaving Xiamen at 7:15 AM on August 28th and flying to the city I love to loathe, Beijing, for our connector flight back to the States. My last impression of China will come in Beijing’s international airport as I wait eight and a half hours for my plane to show up and take me home. I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole thing right now. A part of me is jumping for joy that I’m going; I’ve missed home, my family and my friends. The other part of me is in a quandary. I’ve had a difficult time seeing the good for all the bad lately. Not that I haven’t enjoyed my time, I have . . . It’s too complicated to explain right now. It will take time for me to shift through my emotions and figure out how I really feel about the whole ordeal. Perhaps you will understand better than I once you have read my side of the story. I’ll finish that soon – before I leave.