Brain Cell Bob
Once upon a time, I owned an Apple II C computer. It was what I used to write all of my poems and stories on before I upgraded and got a Compaq laptop, which was handed down to me from my Dad. It was a big upgrade, I know. Phil was shocked to learn that in 1997 I was still using the Apple. I mean, it worked. I didn’t see the point in replacing it until it blew up. My Apple II C never really blew up, though, in fact, it is still working just like it was 11 years ago, but only because Phil did something I didn’t think anyone could do.
Back in 1997, I had been working on a story called “Home”, a sequel to a story I had written called “Next”, when I went to save my data on my new floppy disk. There were steps you had to follow in order to save properly. I can’t remember exactly how it went, it’s been a while, but it went something like this. You had to insert a certain disk, click a button, take out that disk, insert another one, format it, and then save. My Apple was nice, it always asked me if I was sure I wanted to format the disk I had chosen. I didn’t have any reason to believe the disk I had just inserted into the floppy disk was any other than the one I wanted, so I clicked yes. I heard the awful format sound my Apple made, and when I looked down, I saw that the disk I wanted formated was not the one in the disk drive.
What I wish my Apple had asked me was, “Are you nuts? You want me to format this disk? This disk is the one disk you have to have in order to even operate me! Please, I don’t want to see you cry. Don’t hit yes!”
I had formated my start-up disk. And indeed, it was the one disk I needed to do just about everything on my computer. In less than thirty seconds, my Apple II C computer was nothing more than a paper weight. I think I cried for a good two hours, for all of my creative genius had just become non-accessible. All of my stories. All of my poems. Gone. I was devastated.
For years, I asked people if they knew how to get my Apple back up and running, but no one had a single clue. I looked everywhere for another start-up disk, but no one had one of those either, and at this point in the game, no one was even using the type of floppy I would need. I eventually gave up and said goodbye to my creative writing.
Then one day, I met Phil, my computer buddy. Early in our friendship, I mentioned to him what had happened to my computer and asked if he knew of anything to retrieve my stories. He told me that it wouldn’t be a problem, and that he would get around to it one day. I was stoked. Someone had given me hope.
SIX YEARS LATER
Well, I guess anything is better late than ever.
One night, Phil and I had a fight over something stupid, but it made me mad enough to go home and not talk to him for a few days. One morning, still bleary eyed, I opened my IBM laptop to check my email and found this message waiting from Phil : “Hopefully your still not too mad. Anyway, I’ve been working on something for ya, and I think it’s something you’ll enjoy. There’s more to come.” I didn’t know what he was talking about. In a picture file, at the bottom of my screen, all I could see was a black screen with funky green everywhere. I didn’t have my glasses on at the time. I pulled the computer closer to my face and then I realized what it was. It was a screen shot of my Apple II C, and that funky green was the text of a story I had thought I had lost forever. To say that I was happy, would be an understatement. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry.
Below is one of the stories that Phil was able to recover. Some how or another, he was able to convert it to a text file. I don’t know how he did it, I am just extremely glad that he did. Brain Cell Bob is still in the exact format that it was before. My spelling and grammar are completely atrocious, but I thought you might like to step into the mind of a 15 year old.
Looking back, my creative genius wasn’t as creative as I thought, but it is good to have it back. I didn’t remember writing half of the crap that he recovered. I found some fan fiction that I wrote when I was addicted to The X-Files. Man, that stuff is hilarious. All I know, is that I was a huge dork when I was 15, and if anything, I am a bigger one now. Enjoy!
Brain Cell Bob
By: Gabrielle Cook
2/04/97
Hi. My name is Bob aslo known as Brain Cell Bob. Well,
I know that you are thinking, “Why is a brain cell writing
in the first place?” I’ll answer that by saying I have no
idea.Remember I am just a brain cell and the only thing I
know how to opperate is the brain. Doesn’t the word brain
in brain cell give it away? Thought so. Alright lets move
on.
First things first. I am only a brain cell. I did
have 1,000,000,000,000 brothers and sisters but they all had
tragic deaths in which I would rather not talk about. I
will mention my fondest brother named George and sister
named Geraldine. The were the last to die after a major
high that the hostess recived in her early years. They were
strong willed brain cells in which I will never forget.
My loving parents, who were the first to die, were
named Fred and Ferline II. Because of their age they could
not take all the childs play times and parties. Before they
died on that December morn they had introduced me to my
furture wife named Zelda, the Princess of Heavna. She was
aspretty as a angel. My parents had found her lost and
astray in the National Brain Cell Park where all brain cells
go to find a new home. She was gladly accepted in to our
humble home.
At the time I was about 16 in human years and 4 in
brain cell years. (About the year thing. Don’t try to
figure it out. It is almost next to impossible. The year
16 has nothing to do with age. That is how us brain cells
have learned to figure our own own age compared to the
humans. We do age faster than you may think.) Zelda and I
began dating but did not marry till many years after that
because of so many deaths in the family. Zelda was a young
girl who was about 12 in human years when I met her. My
life revolved around Zelda so when are age came to marry, I
asked for her hand. Of course she replied yes. We were
married on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in June.
Now before I get to ahead and have to jump all the way
back here I’ll start now. I was born on November 2nd, 1981
which is known for Spirit Day. Brain cells, if you did not
know, are quite smart from day one. That was the day that
my parents gave me two names. The first one was a Brain
cell name in the Brain Cell lanuage known as Bruca Bru. My
name was Lankca Stru. It was translated in human english as
Bob. For the fun of it I’ll tell you my brother and
sister’s names. My brother’s name was Rutzca Nizzru and my
sister’s was Starca Merru.
In my young childhood years I learned that the hostess
was a wild one. (I think it was her older brothers that
influenced it though.) Because of this roughness that the
young child had, I lost several brothers and sisters. By
the time the child was 5 I had already lost close to almost
half of my family including my parents. I then began to
write poetry and short stories. Of course always through
the child.
I gave my hostess a name in the Bruca Bru and it was
Lilaca Chizu. Which translated, is little child which
refers to “now young child, will be young woman, then thy
shalt be pure woman.” You may think that it is down right
stupid, but in our lanuage it is a honor.
My School years were long and stressfull. Zelda helped
me through them because she was very gifted in those areas.
I had a hard time with math and occasional social studies
but managed to get through it all. Of course came peer
pressure which included smoking ciggerets to only what you
can amagine. There again I lost several brain cells in my
family. I was a weird brain cell and wanted to try
everything at least once or in some case never. Throught
all these peer pressures I learned right from wrong so that
I would live my entire life that was planned for me.
The year I turned 18 in human years was the year I
married Zelda. A female brain cell carries several brain
cells at once. Ranging from one to two billion. These
brain cells are not used to inhance the smartness of the
child but instead they are used to add company. After nine
long months Zelda gave birth to a half a million baby brain
cells. To the first girl we named her Georgia and to our
frirst son, Bob the second. All the children were given
Bruca Bru names but for the first time they did not end in
ca and u. Georgia’s name was Rosz Quilm and Bob II was Izzy
Bimja.
I opened a new school in the Right Secter which is on
the bottom part of the brain which is very active. That is
the school where all my children attened. Since I founded
the school I was able to name it. I named it M.F. Luder
roughly translated in to your human lanuage as “Once born
always a learner.” Written in many brain cell books it is
known that aprocemently 2,000 baby brian cells will live.
The other will die before there first birthday. This
happens because rough activity or harsh things cause them to
die. All the brain cells that have died are burried in the
Brain Cell Cementary in the left top secter because of it’s
forlorness.
Many years passed and the year my children was coming
of age, so was I. My memory began to fail and my writing
drizzeled. More of my family died and Zelda became ill.
She was put to bed and remained there for many years to
come. Many of my children left and moved on leaving through
the cliff. See the brian cells that don’t die, who were not
put there from the beging move on to better things. The way
they do that is by jumping. They just sorta fly off to the
next brain who they come incontact with.
On a day, all most very similar to are wedding day,
Zelda went into a comma, a few hours later, she left us and
went to her Heaven, Heavena. I weaped at her bed side for
the remainder of the day and then built a church in her
honor. It was named The Church of Princess Zelda, A True
beauty. I put up several pictures of her life from our
marriage to her death. She may not have ruled the hostess
body but she was my queen and will always be.
I recieved letters over the years from my children.
They told me of who they married and how many children they
had. I was now offically a Grandpa. One of my younger
daughters, who was known by Bobet, ruled in a hostess body
and had close to two million children. My two oldest
children, Georgia and Bob II, decided to stay and live with
me since the brain cell population was beging to die off. I
needed the company.
Even more years past and it ended up just being me,
Gerogia and Bob II. They never did marry nor do I think
they wanted to. They were to lazy too anyways. It was the
year turned 67 in human years when the now adult had a
severly major high. My only two children could not take it
anymore and they died that night. I guess my body had
become used to it and; did not bother me. I buried their
remaines in the alter of their mother’s church. I lit
candles in their owner as well as in Zelda’s.
After their death, the Brain Cell world, in which I was
brought up in, slowly turned cold and silent. Once in a
blue moon a stranger would enter my door to take a look.
But once they saw how large the cementary was they would
leave. Soon there after no one came and my life became more
dull. I always had candles lit in the church to be able to
feel all of my family’s prence.
My old age brought sickness and that was when I
recived my first cold. I wanted sometimes to leave and hunt
down my children and my grandchildren, the Grandchildren I
will never see. I then decided to write my life story down
and this is what you are reading. With all the quietness it
was written quite quickly. I knew my death was approaching
and I knew I had lived a much longer life than any brain
cell had ever had before. Who had operated so many tasks
with only one me and even kept sucessfull in keeping me
alive.
When the day came which was Febuary 14th, Valentines
Day, I knew it was time. That is why this ending is written
in such a knewly stated fashion. As though it is happening
write now. As I closed my eyes for the last time I knew my
life had been a most memberable one. And in my mind those
candles I lit will remain burning till the end of time no
matter what happens to the hostess that I lived with. I can
now join my wife and children in my wife’s heaven,
heavena.
Bob’s Note
This goes to all the one brain cell brains that are
just like me. I begg of you to take care of your host or
hostess till the day that you die. You may think you are
just a brain cell but in truth you are more than the
honorable lanuage the Braca Bru could translate. So I will
leave you with these words and take with you them were ever
you may travel to ever you shall and meet. Diwn Ligh Tusm
Rilsha. Live a long life.
Brain Cell Bob 😉
I told Phil many moons ago, that if I ever owned a company he would have a job. That job wouldn’t be defined, it would just have tasks for him to do. No set time limit, just at whenever he got around to it. Its nice to know that I may be setting myself up for a six year wait.
May 16, 2008 @ 12:27 AM
Six years is a long time, but it was totally worth the wait. Perhaps I should get angry at Phil more often . . . more things would get done. 🙂
May 16, 2008 @ 4:48 PM
It only takes me a long time, because I’m preoccupied with my other work. When I finally am able to quit my job as a hitman, more will get done. Oh yeah, Terence… Gabe… Fu** you both. Ha ha just kiddin’. I was serious about the hitman thing though. Watch your back!
May 16, 2008 @ 7:12 PM
Preoccupied with your other work? HA!
Tell that to someone who hasn’t lived with you.
And as far as you being a hitman, I’ll be 86 with grandkids by the time you actually get around to snuffing me out. I’ll sleep easy tonight.
May 17, 2008 @ 2:07 AM
That’s awesome to hear. Glad your files were recovered. Can Phil help me find all my love letters from past loves that my Ex coerced me into throwing away? They’re in some landfill in Florida.
As far as the ex is concerned—- If Phil is any good at multi-tasking, I can take him up on his hitman offer. I figure he’ll be in the landfill anyway; 2 birds…u know.
May 22, 2008 @ 1:11 PM