In China, I was sick more or less every other week. Sometimes every week. It was just a part of being in China, I think, and getting used to Chinese germs. I never really got used to it, but I did become less and less surprised each time I came down with something.

I’ve been back in the States for five months now, and (knock on wood here) I haven’t had any sort of sickness that has lasted more than say, a full day – if even that. I no longer have the sort of bathroom issues that plagued me in China either. That was probably the worst thing about China(besides Richard Guo) – me nearly shitting myself to death every other week. I wish I could say that I was exaggerating . . . okay, to a point I am, it wasn’t that bad(death and what have you) all the time, but it did happen a lot and it was never, ever fun. Also, since I’ve been home, I haven’t really even had a sore throat or a cold. Now there have been times since I’ve gotten back that I could feel the beginning of such sicknesses, but nothing has ever stayed with me or progressed to the point where I needed a doctor or lots of over the counter drugs. I’ve been healthier in these last 5 months than I ever was in the last year and a half.

I have a theory.

My American immune system has been overthrown, and has been replaced by a whole battalion of Chinese martial arts fighters. They are my new front line. If they see a cold coming they chop it to bits and leave the carcass to rot in the sun. They laugh in the face of the American germs. “Ha, ha,” they say,”is that all you have?! Bring it on, I dare you!”

Just yesterday, my little Chinese fighting immune system took down a virus that totally conquered my mother and very nearly my brother, as well as most of my immediate family. I woke up with a slight tickle in my throat and my head felt heavy. I was sure that I was going to get sick. I radioed my guys and told them to hop to, and they did. Throughout the day, there were times when I was starting to feel up to par and then that tickle would start to come back. It never stayed long, though. I think they may still be fighting as I write this now, but the battle seems to be almost over. And who has won? Well, my Chinese battalion, of course.

I hope they stick around for a while. I like the fact that because my immune system fought so much evil crap in China that it now is less likely to be overcome by the bacteria running rampant in Columbia. Of course, that is just my theory, and I may be way wrong. And yes, I know, my imagination has a way of running away with itself sometimes.

And finally, like that crazy, cracked out Amy Winehouse says in her song about not going to rehab, my immune systems says the same about any germs trying to infiltrate my body – “No, no, no!”