I’m So Bad.

bya Gabrielle at 7:47 PM

This story is a wee bit out-dated, but it’s still funny.

I’m really surprised my parents didn’t disown me and write me out of their wills. Thankfully, they are pretty easy going people and forgave their rotten daughter. :) What exactly did I do? I think the picture of the April Fool should be a pretty good indicator.

I love playing jokes on people. It’s part of my nature. My Dad says I must have inherited it from him and possibly his bad humor too(heh, JK Dad), but if that is the case, you would think one jokester would be able to smell the other jokester out before the joke got pulled. In most cases, I think my Dad would have been able too, if I had been standing in front of him. I can’t keep a straight face for nothing. This is one reason why I can never play poker. People can see my bluff from a mile away.

Being in China though, telling practical jokes is a whole different ball game. I’m 7,000 miles away, and there is no way neither my Mom or my Dad could tell simply by my face that I was telling tall tales. The only thing I had to do was make a crazy story seem somewhat believable and let their imaginations do the rest of the work. So, I plopped down in front of my computer, went into my email account and started crafting that which would be my April Fool’s joke of 2007.

It started out fairly simply, but then I would think of something cool to add to it. One thing led to another and before I knew it, I had composed an impressive story that could possible be true if you were crazy enough to believe it. Hehe. I didn’t really think they would fall for it. I thought that at least one of them would see through my elaborate lie. But, no. Apparently, my little story wasn’t quiet crazy enough. They both fell for it.

Hook. Liner. And. Sinker.

Mom and Dad,

I just wanted to email you and let you know how much we love Xiamen. It is wonderful here. The weather is fantastic, although warm, but it reminds me of home. This is probably one of the cleanest cities I have been to since arriving in China besides Hong Kong, of course. The people are very nice and everything is very convenient. Also, I wanted to tell you some really good news that happened yesterday. Phil went to Dell and applied for a job. He found his dream job listed on their site and decided that he couldn’t pass it up. So he went and applied in person. Before he could even walk out the door, the President of Dell came running after him and told him to wait. Phil then went into his office and the President started offering him expensive wine and pricey cigarettes, while telling him how much he loved his application. The President of Dell said he couldn’t let someone with his experience walk out of his office without first offering him a job. The job he was offering had already been given away earlier that day, but the President of Dell said his was a douche bag and that he liked Phil much better. To make a long story short, too late, the President of Dell had the douche bag fired, and had Phil sign a 5 year contract to work for Dell in Xiamen. They are paying him a lot too. A WHOLE LOT! We’re going to be rich! They even offered to pay for our housing and for a driver to get Phil to and from work everyday. Since Phil is making so much money, I can quit working for WECL and start writing all those books I’ve been working on for years. It’s going to be great! So, if you really miss me, and really want to see me, you are going to have to hop on a plane and come see me. Oh, and Dell said they would pay for that too.

And now for the bad news. Yes, there is always bad news with the good news unfortunately. Keep reading.

This has been a horrible, awful, no good, evil . . . . . .



You can’t tell me you really believed it!

But the real good news is that we are indeed very happy and the city is super clean. And Xiamen does reminds us of home. I miss and love you both and hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive your daughter. I only did it out of Love!

It was a good one though, wasn’t it?

PS Oh, and I’m pregnant.


PPPS The President of Dell says hi . . . Oh, right, we’ve actually never met the guy. I forgot.I’ve got to watch myself now. I just know that my dad is plotting his revenge as I type – and he has a good long year to get me back. My mom though, she’s just sad Dell isn’t really paying her flight over. Heh.

Categories: China,Humor,WECL,Xiamen
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