Jun
10
2010

Meet the Office Robot

bya Gabrielle at 12:02 AM

Mr. Robot

We tried getting creative in the office with all of the boxes we’ve received since we got here.  Phil started making a fort around his desk at first, and then it gradually turned into the picture above.  It would be awesome if we could get him to walk and talk and serve us lemonade or beer.  I think I would program it with a stutter.  He needs a better name than Mr. Robot or Office Robot.  If you have a suggestion, let me know.  We also thought about putting a daily thought bubble above his head.  Strangely, my boss hasn’t said anything about it and he has seen it multiple times.  I suppose he just thinks were really strange and would rather not discuss our unusual attempt at humor.  If we get enough boxes, we’ll have to build him a girlfriend.  Or maybe an army of them.  That would be scary.

Categories: China,crazy,cute,Humor,Linyi
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Feb
10
2009

Dreaming in Chinese Again

bya Gabrielle at 6:15 PM

It happened last night.  I dreamed in Chinese again.

For some reason, it sounds like something that I would say to a shrink.  And no, for the record, I do not have one.  Although, I am sure there are countless people out there who think I need one.  :)  I’ll leave that discussion for another day.

The dream itself is rather fuzzy, but the little I can remember may amuse you.  I always ponder who all the yous are.  The stat counter Phil built says 50 some odd people come every day, some longer than others, but other than the few that leave comments on any sort of regular basis, I have no idea who they are, and if they care a wink about me.  I guess I never really will.  Oh, well.

So, yeah, I dreamed again in Chinese.  In this particular dream, I was at a big celebratory venue.  I am not sure if it was the New Year or if I was reliving a piece of the Olympics that I never witnessed in person, but it was big.  And there were lots and lots of fireworks.

The only reason I can remember that I was in this stadium like place was because it was also the start of new school year, and I was in charge of the freshman class.  I had to speak to them once the celebration came to a close – about what to expect and all that jazz.  This made me nervous in my dream just like it would have in real life.  I hate speaking in front of people.  How I managed to teach 30 some students nearly every day for a year is beyond me.  I guess I just got used to bull shitting on a regular basis.  :)  (Yes, Mom, I just used the BS word!!)

As soon as the event was over, everyone started heading for the exits, all except for me.  Something distracted me and kept me back.  Well, before I knew it, everyone had left and I didn’t know which door to take.  I called up the stair wells, but no one could hear me.  I was too afraid of getting lost that I stayed there hoping I would figure out where to go, but my dream said I had to stay. Slowly, I noticed that my surrounding were changing.  It was getting darker, and the walls were turning into stone.  Lights on the walls turned into torches, and bars with electricity came down by the doors, keeping me from trying to run away.

I looked around and started noticing that there were some Americans chained up along the passage ways.  I ran over to them and begged them to tell me how to get out, but they wouldn’t unless I would unchain them.  One even handed me a key, but I told him I didn’t want to get in trouble.  I have no idea why a prisoner with a key would still be chained, but he was.  What can I say?  My dreams are weird.

At about that point, I heard some noise behind me.  The prisoner told me that I should hide, but I didn’t listen.  I ran to see who it was in hopes that they could help me.  The noise ended up being a line of freakish monsters.  The one in front looked like Skeletor from He-Man.  Behind him were some wickedly evil creatures that only my mind could create.  Insert you own creepy guys and you’ll know what I mean.

He looked almost exactly like this!

He looked almost exactly like this!

Well, since my dream was in China, the creepy guys had to speak Chinese.  This made everything super frustrating.  It is times like this I wish I had studied my Chinese a little more because I have no idea what they said to me.  It was all comptlete gibberish to me.  I’m sure they were saying something like, “How did you find our secret dungeon?” And, “We must kill you now.”  I just kept saying over in over in Chinese, “I am American.  I am a teacher.”  I added some “help me” in English, but they didn’t seem to care that much about my presence.

I was feeling pretty helpless, but for some reason I did not run.  I just kept standing there pleading with them hoping we’d finally be able to understand each other.

And then Phil’s snoring woke me up.

Part of me was greatful that I didn’t have to deal with Skeletor anymore, but I was mad that I wasn’t going to be able to find out what was going on.  I quickly closed my eyes and hoped that I’d be able to go back to the same dream like I am sometimes able to.

Fortunately, I was, but the interesting part of my dream was gone.  The little man operating my dream center hit the fast forward button.   I entered the dream looking over a lot of paperwork – all of the stuff I had missed while being stuck in a secret Chinese prison.   Hey, at least I didn’t have to speak to the freshman class.

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Dec
12
2008

Phil Will Never Let Me . . .

bya Gabrielle at 12:35 PM

But this is my dream!!

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I may just have to go live with this lady.  I’m sure she needs an extra paw . . . I mean hand.  Yes, my sad attempt at being funny failed.

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Nov
07
2008

When Cars Attack

bya Gabrielle at 9:21 PM

Today, when Phil came home from lunch, he walked in and immediately said, “A car drove into one of the apartments and smashed up a few cars, too.”  I had to see it to believe it.

Just like Phil said, a car had jumped the curb, obliterated one car, dented the hell out of another one, and had driven head first into the front left side of the apartment building, barely missing the window.  The damage on the vehicle indicated speed, but I couldn’t fathom why the car had been driving so fast and how the accident occurred.

After lunch, I took the trash out, and decided to stop and ask some of the people standing around what had happened.  The woman I had talked to said she had seen the car right outside the apartment complex, before the accident, with a 50 gallon trash can lodged under the car.  Two cops were parked next to it.  She said that while at a gas station, the accelerator of the car had gotten stuck and forced the guy to run over the trash can.  The cops looked at the car, did something to it, and let the guy go.  Ten minutes later, driving into the apartment complex, the accelerator got stuck again.  The car rapidly increased in speed.  Nothing the guy did could stop it – at least not that he could think of while it was happening.  I don’t know how or why he decided that ramming into a line of cars and a apartment was a good idea, but that is what he did.

Thankfully, no one was hurt, but man, I felt bad for the pretty Mustang that got taken out.  I can’t imagine how the owners of the cars felt when they went outside and saw the carnage.

It wasn’t the first time I had heard of an accelerator getting stuck.  A year or so ago, I was watching the news, and saw where a woman had called 911 from her cell phone because she couldn’t get her car to stop.  She couldn’t even get it to slow down.  The car was reaching speeds like 80 or possibly more, it may have been a 100, before two cop cars smashed into both sides of her car to make it stop.  I really hope my car never does something crazy like that.  I don’t how I would react.

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