Click here to view old videos.A Cat Fight In My Gmail
If you haven’t had the chance to read My Chinese Headache Part 1 and 2, please click here and here. I suppose it’s not completely necessary, but it may make the following emails more humorous if you do.
Phil wanted me to wait until we got home before I posted them just in case the wrong person happened to come across them. He didn’t want to make our lives any more difficult than they were at the time. And I didn’t want to post it until I had the time to explain our reasoning for why we left. Now that we are home, and I finally got around to telling that story, I can now post what is probably the funniest bunch of emails that I have ever received.
There were several more emails than just the three I’m going to let you read, but these were by far the funniest – particularly the two written by Richard Guo(Yuli Guo). The other one is written by our recruiter, Lea. Please know that a lot of what Richard says in his emails is hogwash. The main reason why I’m posting it is because it makes me laugh until my sides hurt.
ENJOY!
From: Yuli Guo(Richard)
To: Phil, Lea, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007
Phillip,
I have no problem in helping you guys if you ask for my help. But I do have a problem with Lea Walkers who copys the ways blacks were sold in South Carolina before 1865 sells American teachers to China to make evil profits. Her evil ways of doing the business is that she always sell the teachers twice, remember that last year, Tim, the teacher taught in the same place as you did, was sold by Mrs. Walker twice. She charged us for 1000 usd first, then she sold Tim to another school and charged that school again. She made 2000 usd by selling one teacher, which equals
more than 4 months’salary of Tim. When the teachers she sold in China having difficulties she never gives real help but sending an email to fool both teachers and Jessica about the whole situation. Teachers were not told by Mrs. Walker that how much they were sold. Teachers were also never told that because she cheated the host school which makes the teachers she sent over in a difficult situation. On the surface it seems your contract has no connection with Mrs. Walker’s evil doing, but it closed connected with each other. Phillip and Gabe, don’t worry and no thanks, , we will help both of you go home but always remember that it is Mrs. Walker’s evil way of doing the business that put you guys in a such difficult situation. I do hope you can go to the authority concerned in China and disclose Mrs. Walker’s evil behavior.
Richard Guo
From: Lea
To: Richard, Phil, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Sent: Mon, 20 Aug 2007
Subject: Re: More problems, sorry to bother you.
From: Yuli Guo(Richard)
To: Lea, Phil, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Sent: Aug 21, 2007
Subject: RE: More problems, sorry to bother you.
Hey Mrs. Walker,
Too bad, you are not very smart in answering my questions. You faild to grasp the central point of what I said. I am telling you again what you have been doing is morally wrong. Because you sold Americans teachers the same way as Black Americans were sold in South Carolina before 1865. From your letter we can all see that you were mad at Phillip and Gabe as you were unable to collect your evil money as Phillip and Gabe taught the summer program. They are free Americans. You don’t own them, right? They can do what they want to do. They wanted to teach the summer program, we gave them the opportunity to do so. We freed them from your evil slavery, haha…
If you have the guts, you really should take the case to the Supreme Court of US, not your Henan bloody “lawyer”( remember,I talked to him before and he sounded like a Henan farmer, not a really lawyer, double check it before you pay him, he may do the same as you have been doing to the teachers).
Oh, by the way, no one told me that you also own SAFEA. We got the SAFEA Certificate more than 15 earlier ago, I wonder why SAFEA forget to ask your permit. You really should ask SAFEA to pay you 1000 usd for failing to ask your approval on the matter. But, I don’t think the Henan lawyer can help you get the 1000 usd from SAFEA.
My advice to you: find some better way and moral way to make money.
Richard Guo
You know, I’m amazed that no one has ever commented on this post. So, I thought I should. Maybe it will get the ball rolling or something. Heh.
January 2, 2008 @ 6:21 AM
this is shear brilliance!!! right?
December 30, 2009 @ 9:15 AM
I thought it was pretty funny myself.
December 30, 2009 @ 11:12 AM