As I was tromping through the rain forest in Costa Rica last week, I came upon this very beautiful snake. Luckily, being fluent in Snake after my 4 year stint in the University of Hell, we were able to have quite a chat. I sat down under his tree and poured us both a glass of tea.

Maniac Gone Awry: So, what’s going on, Mr. Snake?
Snake: Nuttin much, just hanging around mon.
MGA: Do you always speak in a Jamaican accent?
Snake: As a matter a fact I do. That be where I from.
MGA: Well, how in the world did you end up here?
Snake: Hopped aboard a sailing ship, I did. Brought along my family for some travelin.
MGA: So you are just here on vacation?
Snake: Sure be! Beautiful ain’t it?
MGA: Very beautiful indeed. May I meet your family?
Snake: No, no, mon. They a shy bunch. Don’t like meetin no stranger you know.
MGA: I understand. So where will you be going next?
Snake: Can’t say I know. Maybe Brazil. Africa. Where you from, mon?
MGA: Columbia, South Carolina.
Snake: Can I hitch a ride with ya?
MGA: I’d say sure, but the only place for you would be the Zoo.
Snake: The ZOO???!!! Why I NEVER!!

And that was pretty much how our conversation ended. Mr. Snake was too worked up, couldn’t talk no more, so he slithered away. And I never met his wonderful family.